True Dreams
by LizziF019
Summary: Life after Titanic for Rose, Jack, and others.
1. Chapter 1

**April 16, 1912**

I woke up wrapped in sheets in a warm and comfy bed not remembering anything about how I had gotten there. I did remember all the destruction caused on the Titanic and I thought it was all just a horrible dream, until I focused my eyes and sat up to see that I was in my bedroom back in Philadelphia.

Was it really all just a dream? Was Jack real? I wanted to get up and go out of my room and find out but my body was so sore, and I was so warm and comfy. I had to go to the bathroom really bad though, so I forced myself out of bed.

It was hard to walk, I felt really cold walking over to the door and dizzy. As my hand went to the door knob, I got hit in the head when the door was opened by someone else. It was Cal. I gave him a nervous smile and backed away a little.

"Oh," he said coming in my room and closing the door. "Are you okay? How are you feeling?"

"Uhhm," I shivered, "I'm really cold and sore…What happened? How did I survive?"

"Survive? From what? Why don't you take a bath and just take it easy for the rest of the evening, and then maybe we'll talk tomorrow."

Cal walked out of my room, and I sat back down on my bed thinking. I wanted to be polite to him, no matter what I dreamed or didn't dream. I didn't want to start any trouble at the moment. All that mattered was having someone who cared for me and loved me for who I am, and right then, things were very cluttered in my brain.

So I took a nice warm bath and laid back down. Later in the night, I heard someone come in my room and lay down beside me, wrapping their arms around me, making me feel safe and loved. I couldn't help the feeling that something wasn't right though.

**April 17, 1912**

In the early morning, I went downstairs to see if there was a paper I could read. Maybe my "dream" would be in it, and then I would definitely know that I'm not crazy. I sat down on the end of the porch disappointed when I noticed that no papers had been delivered to the house.

"Rose," Cal called from the front door, "What're you doing out there, come inside."

"I was just seeing if we had a paper I could read," I said walking back inside.

"You don't read the paper though. I already got rid of it anyways, there wasn't anything that important in it today."

"Are you sure?"

"Well of course I'm sure," Cal replied darting his eyes from outside to her. "Why are you so suddenly anxious about reading the paper. You need to be thinking about the up coming wedding."

I looked down at my feet. I had kind of forgotten about the wedding. I guess I unconsciously blocked it out, but why? Cal walked over to me and put his hand under my chin and lifted my head up to his and gave a worried smile before pulling me towards him into a warm hug, those warm hugs I've always loved.

"I have to go pick up your mother," Cal said. "Would you like to escort me, my dear?"

"Yes," I replied, "I would like to see mother. …I miss her."

Cal and I were driven by Mr. Lovejoy to the building my mother was staying at with a few friends. Cal was holding my hand the whole time, he was acting very odd for Cal, but I didn't complain. It just made me wonder, and it made my suspicion of something strange going on increase a lot.

We pulled up in front of a large building where mother was waiting for us. Cal told me to stay in the car while he helped her. My mother turned her head towards me and I smiled at her. She turned her head away and was talking to Cal, nothing I could hear though. I looked away and started staring at all the people walking by and across the street going about their daily routines. There was a newspaper stand a few feet away from me, so I rolled down my window and asked the man if I could have one.

I looked over to see what was taking mother, Cal, and Mr. Lovejoy so long and the man handed me one as I looked back up to see his startled young face and I gasped as he was roughly pushed away from the car by an angry Cal. The paper fell into my lap and the headline was as follows, "_Titanic Sinks On Main Voyage - HOPES BLIGHTED WHEN WIRELESS FLASHES THAT 868 ON BOARD CARPATHIA ARE SOLE SURVIVORS OF BIG OCEAN CATASTROPHE THAT TOOK 1350 TO BOTTOM OF SEA._"

I was speechless as I looked back up into Jack's face and Cal, mother, and Mr. Lovejoy pilled into the car very much upset by the situation that just happened. I looked at Cal and looked at Jack as we started to drive away, and then I smiled at him and leaned out the window and before Cal pulled me back in yelled, "I love you, Jack Dawson!"


	2. Chapter 2

I was quickly pulled in as I expected by Cal. He leaned over me and rolled my window up and said to me in a voice I finally remembered but hadn't heard in days, "Rose it is not going to work between you and him, so just forget it! You are mine, you always have been, and you always will be, understand?!"

I folded my arms together and turned away from him.

"Do you understand," Cal repeated grabbing my arm.

"Don't touch me!" I yelled pulling away.

We started fighting like little siblings in the back seat of the car. My mother turned around and told us to stop immediately.

"This is exactly the reason why you two have problems," she said.

"No!" I said. "The reason we have problems is because Cal has ridiculous expectations and ideas, and he doesn't even care about or listen to a word I say!"

"You don't respect me as a wife should!" Cal yelled back.

"Oh I am so sick of your 'how a wife should act' deal! What about how a husband should act? Oh my God, Cal, we're not even married!"

"You're my fiancée, so start acting like it!"

"What if I don't want to be your fiancée?!"

"You don't have a God damn choice!"

I looked at him and didn't say anything else. Everything was coming back to memory now. Why was I so nice to him earlier? He's so controlling. Maybe if he wouldn't have changed into the man he is now, things would have been different. Jack needed me though. I told myself these things happen for reasons, and that somehow I had to break free of Cal and his crazy ways. I was never going to let go of Jack, even if it meant having to let go all the memories…..the good memories…..of Cal.

When we got back to the house, I was the first to get out of the car and started walking upstairs without saying a word to anyone. I was upstairs and almost around the corner when Cal called my name.

"Rose," he said politely.

"What," I replied. And when he didn't respond, I turned around and saw him standing at the bottom of the stairs just looking at me with a puppy dog look on his face. I turned away and stayed in my room for the rest of the day.

It was 11PM, I had slept all afternoon. Quietly in my bed, I pondered my thoughts about what was going to happen, what I was going to do. I wanted to just lay there all night and think, and dream, but of course, I couldn't with Cal.

"Rose come look at our stocks," Cal said opening the door cheerfully as if nothing happened.

"I don't want to," I answered putting a pillow over my head, "I'm mad you!"

"Oh you're always mad at me," he said walking over to he bedside. He sat down beside me and snatched the pillow away from my face, "I've done so much for you, and you just sit here in your room sobbing like a little spoiled brat, like your life is so miserable here, when all any of us have tried to do was give you the best!"

"Well maybe the best for you isn't the best for me."

Cal sighed, "Why do I have the feeling that we're never going to have sex ever again?" He walked out of the room and slammed the door shut.

I turned over on my back and stared at the ceiling for a while before drifting back to sleep.

**April 24, 1912**

Cal was planning the wedding, since I was being very stubborn about it all. He had moved it to the beginning of July because of the ship wreck. So that gave me basically just two months to get away from that place forever. How would I find Jack though? Where would I go, and with what money?

Mother was making me go on an outing with her and her many friends. All they discussed was mine and Cal's wedding, gag me. We were sitting at a beautiful restaurant in downtown Philadelphia when a familiar person appeared beside my mother. It was Molly Brown, from the Titanic. For the first time in weeks, I smiled and meant it.

"Ruth! Rose!" she yelled in excitement.

My mother bowed her head down. I got up and walked around to hug her, I didn't want to let her go.

"Oh it's so nice to see you two survived," she started and then looked over at mother's friends, "did ya'll know the Titanic sank?"

"We all definitely know," one of mother's friends said with a fake smile.

Molly turned to my mother, "Ruth, do you mind if I borrow Rose here for a minute or two?"

"No, Molly, that's quite alright, take her where ever you want, for how ever long you want," mother laughed.

Molly grabbed my elbow and led me to the back of the restaurant.

"Rose, will you excuse me, I have to go find my husband. You can just wait for me outside on that bench over there," she directed.

I sauntered out of the restaurant towards the bench wondering what Molly wanted, until someone grabbed me off course and turned me around to face them. It was Jack! Yay!

All we did was hug each other tightly, it reminded me of holding him on Titanic when the bow was raising. We said nothing for minutes. I started to cry, I didn't know if it was from joy or fear. Joy of seeing him, or fear of this being the last time I might see him.

Cal came out with my mother and Molly running after them.

"Rose!" he yelled grabbing me away.

"What the hell is wrong with you," my mother yelled.

"Ahh you two are going to make me have a nervous break down!"

"Okay now everyone just calm down a minute," Molly tried interrupting.

"You stay out of this," Cal snapped at her. He grabbed my arm like last time and tried dragging me away, but I made it hard for him by acting like I lost my versatility. Cal picked me up and walked us away quickly saying, "You're so going to pay for this when we go home!"

Before we left the restaurant, my mother told Molly to stay away from us, and she especially threatened Jack. Cal got in the backseat and wrapped his arm around me like we were totally in love but had a look on his face like he was going to break up with me any moment. That was just me dreaming, something I could rarely do, and because of calls threat towards me, I'm sure whatever he was planning to do to me when we got back to the house was going to keep me from dreaming as well.


	3. Chapter 3

**April 26, 1912**

My mother had insisted that Cal let me out of my room at least. I felt like a little girl again, trapped and grounded. My middle body was sore from Cal's "rough housing" the other night. He was becoming more and more like my father. Maybe someday, very soon, like my father Cal would also kill himself.

It was a very lazy day. Everyone was quiet and didn't speak much to each other. I didn't expect Cal to return to his cheerful self anytime soon. Even if he did, I still wanted to be with Jack. I really hoped he was okay, maybe he was staying with Molly and her husband.

A few weeks had passed and nothing changed except my hope for seeing Jack again. I wondered if I should really leave it alone and resort to my old life with boring Cal and boring mother. Every time I tell myself this, I close my eyes and remember the time sitting on the deck with Jack, talking about his drawings, and standing over watching the sun slowly disappear into the ocean, almost like my hopes, but somehow I still had some left.

I'm always a person who says things happen and are here for a reason. So deep inside I believe there's a reason I saw Jack twice already.

**July 3, 1912**

I was sitting alone in a hotel room staring at nothing as the crowd waited for the wedding to begin. I wanted time to keep moving slowly, and maybe something will happen. I swear, everyone in the state was at this wedding, walking down the aisle took forever, and when I finally got to the end, I took a deep breath as Cal took hold of my hand and gave me a little smile.

I couldn't help but think about how screwed up I was, what with all my emotions, my mixed emotions for Cal, how I so much wish he would really love me for who I am, and I wish he would just let me go and be with Jack. And Jack was right, they've got me trapped. But was he right about me being strong?

As the priest began, I bowed my head and scrunched up my face and tried to hold in my tears and sobs. I didn't want to embarrass myself, or even Cal. Maybe I could pull it off by them being joyful tears ….no. These were tears of sadness, grief, and anxiety.

I don't know what came over me, but I looked up at Cal and held both his hands and whispered to him, "I'm sorry."

I ran out of the church immediately not knowing at all where I was going and if I was even going to get away. It was a night wedding, so I hid in a dark alley. A lot of strange men encountered me, but didn't say anything. I tore off the veil and took my shoes off. I ran to the place where I saw Jack first and was out of breath. I was exhausted, physically and emotionally, so I laid down and fell asleep right there on the curb next to the newspaper stand.

When I woke up, I found myself yet again in a warm bed all comfy and such and thought to myself, "Ohhhh nooo." But I sat up and found myself in a small apartment, and it seemed nice. It seemed real, not like the big house I grew up in. The walls were painted in a pretty yellow and a white and black furry dog with pointed floppy ears ran into the room and jumped on the bed and started pawing at me.

I giggled as I pet him and hugged him and he was very much appreciated. I almost forgot I was in someone else's apartment until I heard a voice call, "Samson!" The dog jumped off the bed and ran out of the room. The voice definitely sounded like Jack's, but I sat there waiting patiently and nervously for him to enter the room.

Jack walked to the door way to see if I was awake. I smiled at him sweetly and said, "Hi Jack." He smiled and walked over to the bed and leaned over to kiss me and I kissed him back like it was the best thing in the world. It was.

My dress was torn and still ripping from all the running I had done the night before. Jack saw one of the bruises Cal had made for me in one of the spots where the dress was torn on my lower back. He put his hand over it and put his head on my shoulder and told him he was never going to let him hurt me again.

"Jack, it's not your fault," I said putting my hand on his head.

He lifted his head up and put my face in both his hands. I just smiled, trying to be optimistic, I was just happy I was at least with him. We hugged, and Samson jumped on the bed again and for those few minutes before figuring out what to do next, life was perfect.


	4. Chapter 4

**July 4, 1912**

I sat on the bed with Jack as we continued talking and petting Samson as we did the whole night. We talked about everything; the Titanic, Cal, all those people who lost their lives, and their family and friends. Our conversation almost made me feel bad about complaining about Cal, but Jack just listened and comforted me and told me that it would be okay, somehow it would be, and that there was a reason we found each other, and I knew then that I would always be with Jack, he believed in what I believed, he loved me for who I am. He didn't expect any more from me than what I gave, and that was the core of a relationship I was looking for .

There were a bunch of festivities happening in town that day for the fourth of July, but Jack and I thought it would be wise to stay inside and away from all the commotion. We could end up bumping into Cal and all I wanted was to stay in Jack's tiny apartment and forget that I had something to worry about.

"Oh, you're probably hungry aren't you?" Jack said helping me up. "Here, come in the kitchen, I'll get you something."

"Uhm I actually haven't been eating very well lately," I told him as he led me to the kitchen table. "My stomach has been really acting up."

"Really," Jack said sitting down and looking worried.

"Yeah, but don't worry," I assured him. "I'm sure it's probably just all this stress and everything."

"Well you do need to eat. When's the last time you had something?"

"Hmm, probably the day before the wedding. So, the day before yesterday I guess."

"Oh man, Rose, you should eat at least a sandwich," Jack said getting up. "Do you like peanut butter and jelly?"

"Who doesn't?" I said. "I guess I'll try to keep it down. I am feeling a little less sick right now, but I think it's because I'm with you, and you take the stress away."

Jack smiled and sat back down with two sandwiches on paper plates and two glasses of water. I ate the sandwich slowly, not rushing myself. I was able to take all the time I wanted since I didn't have any pointless outings to attend to. After I finally finished, I put my elbow on the table and held my head in my hand and just stared at Jack with a loving face.

Jack had that job at the newspaper stand I saw him at, but asked to be moved to another location for our safety, thinking Cal might go back there looking for us. He was off today, so we sat around again just talking about anything and everything. I told him I would try to go out and look for a job later, but he insisted that I stay in the apartment for a while because of Cal and because of my weak stomach.

That night, I had a bad dream that Cal came into the apartment, somehow through and out of the stove, and kept hitting Samson with a heavy looking book. I woke up in a very cold sweat, I felt like I had just got out of a bath and I quickly got up and went to the bathroom and threw up in the sink. I felt horrible for making such a mess, and I still felt sick even after throwing up. I started to cry as I tried cleaning as much as I could away from the bathroom sink before I went back to sleep. I must have woken up Jack because he walked over to me.

"Are you sure you're okay," Jack said in a worried voice.

"I don't know," I cried sliding down the door. "I don't know…anymore. What's going to happen? What am I going to do…if he comes back..if I never see you again?"

"Rose, it's okay. It's going to be okay. I promise I'm not going to let you go back to that. I'll clean all this up, you just calm down, take deep breaths and go back to bed."

Jack wiped away my tears and pulled me to my feet and walked me back to the bedroom. He was so sweet and gentle, nothing like Cal at all. I changed my clothes and got back into bed when Jack left the room again. I laid down next to Samson, who was sound asleep snoring, but woke up and licked my face before rearranging himself on the bed.


	5. Chapter 5

**July 7, 1912**

Jack escorted me to a nearby clinic on his day off early in the morning. I had the feeling that I was probably pregnant, and that worried me more than it excited me at the moment. For one, if I was pregnant, it could be either Jack's or Cal's baby; and two, I was scared about what Jack's reaction would be, after all, money is hard enough as it is. If it was Cal's baby, it would make things even more awkward. I loved Jack with all my heart, and I knew I wanted to be with him forever, but I still have only known him for a very short amount of time.

After the doctor ran the tests, he left the room shortly. I squeezed Jack's hand and looked over at him.

"It's going to be okay," he laughed.

I turned my head away before he let go of my hand and put his arm around me, holding me close and resting his head on my shoulder. I wanted to tell him what was on my mind. When I was about to, the doctor came back in.

…And I was right, I was pregnant. I was about eight weeks pregnant, and the doctor said the baby was mostly healthy except it was particularly small, which was why I hadn't even noticed my stomach get any larger; at least, not any larger for me to notice.

My face felt very hot as I asked the doctor is he could leave the room for a minute so we could talk privately. I was very embarrassed, and for the first time felt way too awkward being around Jack.

"Would it be okay the doctor tested you to see if the baby is your's?" I asked slowly before Jack could say anything, "I mean, it sounds horrible, but it could be yours, or it could be…his, sadly; and I'd just like to know, if you didn't mind."

I felt a tear slide down my cheek as I looked up at him and he held my hands and said, "Of course! Rose, I would do anything for you, and you don't have to be scared to tell me anything, or talk to me about anything. I'll still love you with all my heart if the baby is Cal's. I know we haven't known each other for very long, but I can tell you right now that you're definitely different from all the other girls I've known, and when I say different, I mean it in a good way. You're way too smart to be cooped up in a huge house with Cal, and you're way too beautiful as well. You might think that your life with them has made you unaware and oblivious to the world, but you're so much better than that, and you deserve more than you've been given. I'll always be here for you when you need me, I want to be with you. A dream come true for me is you wanting to be with me. So I guess this is a good time to ask you, Rose, will you marry me?"

I scrunched up my face in emotions and started crying even more tears but of joy, feeling totally overwhelmed, but in a good way. I flung my arms around him and told him, "I'll never let go."

Jack chuckled, "So we're being literal now? I hope you never jump off a building."

I let go of him and wiped my tears away. He pecked my cheek and went to go get the doctor to ask him for a test. He took the test right then, and the doctor said he would call us with the results in a few days.

We walked around town for a while, talking about what to do next. Jack said that on his next day off, he would try to buy me some new clothes. He also mentioned about asking his boss for a raise. Maybe after we got the results back, we thought about moving to a different state, so we could be farther away from Cal, just so I felt safer.

Now Jack definitely made sure I was eating, even though after he felt bad when I got sick. We thought the baby was probably small due to stress, post-traumatic stress from the titanic, and possibly from being in the cold ocean water for so long might have had an effect on the baby's first developments.

**July 12, 1912**

Whenever the telephone rang, my stomach dropped. I knew that the results were coming soon. It was around nine in the morning when Jack kneeled down by my side of the bed, and whispered to wake up. I opened my eyes. "The doctor just called and made me the happiest man alive," he whispered.

I leaned over as I smiled and kissed him, and thought to myself, "Thank you. Thank you for letting me have him."


	6. Chapter 6

**July 27, 1912**

Jack's boss transferred him to his home state, Wisconsin. He worked at a new art design factory, and had been getting paid well. I was still getting sick at night. We still hadn't decided on a wedding date. We wanted to wait a while, we wanted to take our time. I stayed home mostly while Jack worked; longing for his warm hugs and kisses, and optimism.

I thought a lot about Cal and mother. I almost felt bad for leaving them…finally. It was just too good to be true, they were going to come back into my life someday and ruin everything. I wrote my feelings down in a diary. It was all I ever did when Jack wasn't at home. I felt as if my whole past was being poured through the pen and onto the paper. It made me sad because my past with Cal wasn't always horrendous. He had changed though, and there was nothing I could do.

Jack kept talking about all the stuff we were going to do in California, and how I couldn't do any of it now that I'm pregnant. I feel like I had just gotten off a roller coaster, so I didn't mind much that we had to wait a while.

I told Jack that he didn't need to worry about getting me anything extravagant for our wedding, meaning a huge diamond ring. He knows I'm not into that sort of thing.

Months had passed and we finally had a small wedding on September 3, 1912. I've never been the happiest since these past four months went by. I hadn't heard a word from my mother or Cal or anyone that had a connection with them. I was slowly trying to forget all of it, and start focusing on the present and future. I had a new life now, as Rose Dawson, and my first bundle of joy was on its way.

**January 1, 1913**

Jack came home late from work on New Year's Eve. He woke me up when he got home, and held and kissed me for a while before suddenly out of no where a loud and quick banging knocked at the door. Jack gave me a weird look before getting up to see who it was. I leaned up to sit on the side of the bed and watched him look through the peep hole in the door to see who it was before he opened. He stood there for a few seconds and then slowly walked back into the bedroom.

"Well who is it," I finally asked him.

"No one," he said. "There wasn't anyone out there."

We laid back down and went to sleep, but we were woken up by the loud knocking again. It scared me, and Samson started barking at the door. Jack got up quickly and whispered for Samson to be quiet. He ran to the door and looked through the peep hole again, and then shook his head, turned to me and said, "Rose, we have to leave, now."

Before I could even say anything or ask why, he grabbed me, his bag, and put Samson's leash on and made me go first out of the window and down the stairs behind the apartment building. When Jack jumped down after me with Samson, he held his leash in one hand and picked me up and just ran as fast as he could. I was so confused and sick. I was getting nauseous and my stomach was getting sharp pains.

After about five minutes of Jack constantly speed walking, he stopped. I had rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes for most of it, but opened them and saw we were in front of a big house. He let me down and knocked frantically on the door; I was way too tired to even care what was going on anymore, and I wanted to sleep so I would forget about the awful stomach pains I was having.

Then everything went black. I found myself, yet again, waking up in a warm bed, all nice and comfy. I turned my head slightly to see Jack sitting on the bed staring at me. He laid down next to me and kissed me, and I put my arms around him kissing him back; thanking God I didn't wake up at mother and Cal's house.

"Ahh!!," I screamed in pain.

"What, what," Jack yelled.

"My stomach hurts so bad, I can't take it."

Just then, the door opened and Molly Brown appeared. We must have gone to her house. She walked over to us, and Jack said to her, "I don't know, I think she might be in labor, or something."

"I'm only eight months..," I said, then I laid down and shut my eyes. Everything was black again.


	7. Chapter 7

I woke up screaming in pain, very cold, the total opposite of all the other times I woke up after a crazy event. I was at a hospital with a bunch of nurses and a doctor crowded around me. I wanted to kill someone. I frantically looked around for Jack, but I couldn't see him anywhere in the room.

"Where's Jack," I cried.

One of the nurses walked over to me, "Ma'am lay back," she said.

"Where's Jack!" I yelled again.

"Put her out," the doctor said.

The nurse stuck a needle in my arm, and yet again, everything went black.

**January 3, 1913**

I woke up with a very uncomfortable nose tube in me. I was in a different room, but still in the hospital. Jack bent over me and held my face.

"I love you," I said to him.

He smiled and kissed my forehead.

"Jack, what happened?"

"The baby was born only a month early. He's really small and fragile, well, more fragile than a baby should be at least."

"He? Can I see him?"

"Yeah, I haven't seen him yet. Here."

Jack helped me take my nose tube out, and we slowly walked out of the room to the nursery. I turned to Jack and buried my face in him and held my breath when I saw Cal talking to someone at the service desk. That must have been Cal who had been banging on our door the other night. Jack slowly rubbed my back and started walking again. We were going to have to pass him to get to the nursery.

Cal turned his head towards us and walked over.

"Rose," he said lovingly taking my hand. "I need to speak with you….In private."

"Anything you have to say to Rose, you can say in front of me," Jack said taking my hand and holding it tightly.

Cal gave Jack a grim look before he walked away.

"He's going to come back," I said. "He's not going to give up."

"Excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. Dawson?" a nurse said half way out of the nursery door. "Would you like to hold your son for a while?"

I smiled and walked over quickly towards her. I can't even explain the emotions I felt when I first laid eyes on my first born, my baby, mine and Jack's baby. The nurse picked him up and handed him to me. He weighed three pounds and seven ounces. I gently kissed him as he stared upon me for the first time. I turned around and gave him to Jack to hold. Jack smiled at him, and then looked up at me with such joy in his face. The nurse put the baby back down and handed us a sheet of paper to fill out. We walked back into the room and looked over it. We filled out both our names and birthdates before choosing a name for our baby. We had finally decided to name him Marshall Alexander. Marshall for Jack's father, and Alexander for my father. Marshall Alexander Dawson.

**January 7, 1913**

We were escorted back to Molly Brown's sister's house, which was where we went in the first place, with Marshall. Jack wanted to move again, since Cal had an idea where we were right now. I told him that I was behind him every step of the way. Molly had given us money to rent a small apartment in none other than Santa Monica, California. Jack found another job, and I stayed home with Marshall. I was eighteen years old, and all the other girls my age were out doing what Jack and I had talked about doing on the Titanic, but I couldn't have been happier than I was living with Jack and a beautifully cute baby boy. I told Jack that when Marshall turned a year old, I would enroll him in a daycare and find a job to help pay the bills.

Everything was going great. Though every time I noticed myself having high moments, I worried that something awful was going to happen, and break me down and back into my depressive and weak self again. I tried not to think of Cal at all. I tried to pretend I had never even tried suicide on the Titanic, I tried to block all the bad memories out, but it was too hard.


	8. Chapter 8

**December 31, 1913**

It had been over a year and a half since the Titanic sank and took thousands of lives away. I still thought about all those people I saw that tragic night. Jack and I sat quietly together in the living room waiting for midnight to come. Marshall was going to be a year old very soon, and I was going to publish a book I had written. The publisher wanted me to meet with a man whom was said to be a very good editor and promoter. I had to take a bus to a hotel a few hours south of Santa Monica. I was to stay there the weekend, but Jack wasn't too thrilled about the idea at all. I told him that I would be okay, and it was something I've always wanted to do.

We both fell asleep at two in the morning after making love at the stroke of midnight. Marshall's first birthday was on the third of January and I was leaving on the fifteenth of January. I would be arriving home on January 18.

**January 15, 1914**

I handed Marshall back to Jack before boarding the bus. The bus rode away and through my body, I felt a rush of excitement and even accomplishment, though I hadn't been published yet, I would have never gotten this far if I was staying with my mother and Cal.

We arrived around one in the afternoon in San Diego. I took a taxi to the hotel where I was meeting the man I was going to speak with about the editing. I walked up to front counter.

"Excuse me, my name is Rose Dawson and I believe there is a man expecting me," I told the clerk.

"What's the name," the clerk asked.

"Name? Well I don't know the name…"

"Mrs. Dawson, I can take you up to your room," a man behind me said picking up my bag.

I turned around to thank him, but froze from seeing the face of Mr. Lovejoy, Cal's sneaky assistant. I turned back to the clerk, not knowing what to do or say. What could I say? I think there's been a mistake? Maybe if I told him my publisher's name, he would know what room I could carry my bags myself and walk to.

"My publisher's name is Donald Wilt," I said to the clerk.

"Oh yes, Mr. Wilt is staying in room 1405, right up on the fourteenth floor," the clerk said.

"Thank you," I told the clerk as he gave me a key, and I grabbed my bag from Mr. Lovejoy and scurried off towards the elevator.

Was the really Mr. Lovejoy though? Or was I just being paranoid? I told myself to leave it alone as I walked out of the elevator and over to room 1405. I hesitated before I opened the door. It was a very nice suite. I put my bag down on the couch, and there was no sign of anyone in the room. I waited a half hour until I heard the door open, I was sitting in the bedroom. I walked out into the living room to greet the man, but was knocked so hard on my head, I was pushed back into the bedroom, and I heard the door slam. I fell onto the floor, then was turned onto my back. I opened my blurry eyes to see a very angry look on Cal's red face. I tried getting up, but he just pushed me back down and his weight was far too heavy for me to lift off. I tried screaming, but he grabbed my neck and jabbed a needle into it.

Everything went black, again.

I woke up about an hour later, still in the hotel bedroom, lying on the floor. My dress had been ripped to pieces, and my left arm had a scrap on it. My back hurt like I pulled a muscle in it. I tried to get up, but I felt helpless. No one was around, I didn't hear anyone. I was so mad at myself for getting into this situation. I was going to press charges when I got away, I knew I would, I had to have faith.

I tried reaching the phone to call someone, anyone. Just then, someone came in the hotel and I locked my body up and focused my eyes towards the bedroom door. A man I had never seen before ran to me.

"Oh my God!" he yelled. "What happened?"

He called emergency to the room, and then told me his name, James Mervin. He was the editor I was supposed to be meeting, and he had called the hotel to tell me he was going to be late, but someone had pretended to be him before, and that's why I didn't get the message. How did Cal find out where I was? Has he been spying on me this whole time?

James and a few others took me to the nearby emergency room in downtown San Diego. I asked James to call Jack for me and to tell him what happened. James told me that we could do what we were going to do another time, and that this time he would come to my house in Santa Monica. He even offered to ride on the bus home with me. We sat down in the bus a few days after the incident and I looked out my window and in the crowd of people saying goodbye, I saw Cal standing in the back glaring at me. My stomach dropped and knew that even though I was in a different chapter of my life now, it didn't mean that the next chapter wasn't going to be packed with anxiety.


	9. Update and Chapter Nine

_***hey guys, I just wanted to say thanks for the reviews and favoriting my story!! I'll try to keep up, and at least have one new chapter up here one to two weeks. It depends on how busy I am with school and all that stuff. But thanks again!!! I really appreciate it, it makes me smile. :o)_

**January 21, 1914**

Jack met James and I at the bus station, and James' wife was also there to greet him with their daughter. Jack held Marshall and walked over to me and pulled me towards him, and I didn't want to let him go. I didn't want to face the reality that it was going to be harder than I thought sweeping Cal away into the past.

I allowed one tear to slowly slide down my cheek, and pulled away from Jack to hold and hug Marshall. I loved his cute, little innocent staring face, knowing that something wasn't right, but he didn't now what. He just knew that his mommy was upset, and I had decided right then that I was going to just spend my time with Marshall at the apartment for a while, at least until I knew for sure that Cal was never going to come around me or my friends and family again.

James wasn't aware that I was living in Santa Monica, otherwise, he would have come to me the first time. He had just moved to the Santa Monica area a few months ago, he and his wife and daughter lived just a few neighborhoods away. We all became very good friends, and I was glad that Marshall had someone to play with, since I wanted to take him out of daycare for a while. James and his wife, Lucy's, daughter was just a year old as well, and her name was Heather.

Jack called the police station immediately when we all went back to our apartment, and James had called the San Diego police. Jack was outraged and wanted to sue the hotel for letting Cal through as an imposter, but I wasn't so upset with them. Cal was a very smart and persuasive man. The police put out a search warrant for Cal and Mr. Lovejoy all around southern California. I was certain that Cal was probably not even in the country anymore, but when things would quiet down, he would come back again.

**September** **5, 1915**

We practically gave up on trying to find Cal or Mr. Lovejoy. No one cared much anymore. I had just given birth to my second child, a daughter. Jack and I decided to name her Kimberly Rose. We still lived in Santa Monica, and Jack's job was getting better every day for him. I was a stay at home mom. I wrote down my thoughts and creative stories and published them with the help of James.

Marshall was really starting to get into everything, and I mean everything. They're not kidding when they tell you about the terrible two's. He was very happy about having a little sister though. Marshall and Kimmy were Jack's and mine joy. There are plenty of couples out there who would rather travel the world and explore before letting children "ruin" their lives, but my kids were the only ones that kept my mind from wandering towards the possibilities of Cal suddenly returning, or some other horrible thing happening.

And they were spitting images of us as well. Marshall had blonde hair with bright blue eyes, and Kimmy had red hair with deep green eyes. Jack and I always talked about the night the Titanic sank when he told me I would have lots of babies, and that's what we had planned on doing. We both wanted a big family we could surround ourselves with. It was a change for us both, even with just Marshall and Kimmy at the time. Jack never had siblings and his parents both died when he was young unfortunately. I grew up surrounded by people, but not anyone who really loved me or saw me for who I was.

The kids were definitely a handful. Time passed and I began to think of Cal less and less. I had forgotten about my whole other family, they weren't worth remembering anyways.

James and Lucy became our very good friends. It was nice having friends. I had never had a lot of friends before, at least not any real friends. Both of us families had saved up enough money to move into the suburbs, and so, we both moved into a nice suburb right in the middle of Santa Monica conveniently on the same street. The houses were big and beautiful. They weren't mansions, but they were perfect for raising a family.

For Easter, Jack bought the kids a big swing set and tree house for the backyard. It looked quit empty before. We still had Jack's dog, Samson, who was going on five years old. He was very good with the kids. We couldn't ask for a better life at the moment. I hated thinking that, for I knew that soon something bad was going to come strolling our way. I told Jack I needed to find something to complain about, so I don't jinx us. It was kind of joke, but at the same time, it was serious. Cal was very dangerous, and he wouldn't give pity to Jack's children whether they were mine, too, or not.


	10. Chapter 10

**March 30, 1916**

I was sitting in my room thinking. I was usually distracted by the noises of the children, but this evening, I was in deep thought. It was the ten year anniversary of the day my father had killed himself. I flashed back to the old house we used to live in. I was reading a book for school. I heard a fall and struggle come from the kitchen, my mother ran over and pushed me away when I got up to see what had happened.

For a whole week, no one told me anything. I never knew what happened until later when I was older. My mother finally told me apathetically that my father had hung himself. "Why?" I asked her. She never answered, and I never expected her to.

I decided to take a nap and rest my thoughts for a while. It was a very gloomy day. Rain lightly fell against the window as I shut my eyes and drifted away for an hour or so. I woke up thinking how nice it would be if I had my old diary with me. I wonder if they kept it. I wonder if they kept anything. Four years ago, I just up and left my bedroom, my sanctuary where I hid from everyone and everything. My sanctuary now lied within Jack and the kids. I told myself that one day I would go back by myself. I wouldn't be forced to go.

I heard the front door slam closed. Jack must've been home. I heard him yell angrily at the kids to be quiet. I peeked out the bedroom door at him. Jack sat on the floor and put his hand to his eyes and Marshall held his other hand. He leaned over and hugged him and picked up Kimmy. I snuck downstairs to join them and thought to myself that I'm worried as hell every single day about what might happen or who I might run into, but I guess worrying about it was better than living it.

It was late in the evening when Jack told me he needed to talk to me alone in our room. I asked him how his day was, why he came home in a sour mood. We both sat in the middle of the bed across from each other.

"So, I got a call today from the Philadelphia police," Jack said holding both my hands. "Your mother has been shot several times. She's still alive, she's just really injured badly..and, they don't know how it happened, but, Rose, I'm really starting to worry about this whole thing."

I squeezed his hands and said, "I have to go see her."

"I don't know if that's such a good idea right now."

"I know it's not, but…"

I started crying and gasping for air. Jack held me as I apologized for him having to go through all this nonsense. He told me that he would go with me to see my mother.

James and Lucy offered to watch the kids while we were gone. We had planned to only stay a weekend. My mother didn't awake at all during our visit. I didn't give anyone there any of my information, for fear of Cal going to the hospital and finding it. I hadn't heard from Cal in so long, but he was still fresh in my mind, like we had argued just a day before about something ridiculous as what side of the bed to sleep on.

And even though I worried a lot about him and where he was and what he was up to, I thought about him in a concerned way sometimes. I felt bad that he seemed to be spiraling downward into the same sort of madness my father went down…slowly. After a while, you would think that he would just move on in life, and try to forget me. He was way too obsessed, he was way too upset, and it made me feel bad.

Sometimes, I thought to myself that I wanted to be like Cal, I wanted to search for him. Why? Because I wanted to end it. I wanted to tell him, and get it straight in his head that we're not going to be together, and there's obviously someone else out there for him to pamper with expensive things. I would never do it though, I didn't have time. And Jack would never agree. I couldn't do anything behind Jack's back. Jack and I were a strong unit; we argued like regular couples, but we always had each other's back no matter what. That's the difference, Cal never looked at me as his partner, but more of his assistant, his pet.

At the hotel, I laid down on the bed staring at the wall. Jack came around and laid next to me and stared into my eyes.

"What're you thinking about?" he asked.

"..I'm thinking about him," I sighed.

"Hmm."

Jack sat up and put his thinking face on. It was like we were trying to think of what to do for a science project, or something crazy like that. "What can we do," he said calmly getting up and walking around the room.

The calmness in his voice suddenly made me calm, and it was easier to think, but that was just it. I was sick of thinking. I was worried, but I needed to stop thinking about it. Whatever happens will happen. If I completely forget about him, maybe one day out of no where, I'll get a call telling me that Cal has been found by the police, and I'll be so surprised and confused, because I won't even remember. But that would never happen. He was cemented into my brain.


	11. Chapter 11

**April 9, 1916**

I had just gotten home from a long walk. I had been having terrible migraines. Jack was getting really worried about me, staying in our room all the time and sleeping. He came in after work everyday and laid down next to me, he never said anything.

"Do you ever think…" I asked him one day, "….that all of this…I mean.. what if we're really not.." I stared at him as he stared back into my eyes, I was waiting for him to finish my sentence, but he didn't.. My eyes started to water and my face scrunched up. He pulled me towards him and whispered to me, "It's not up to the world, or anyone, to choose whether or not you and I being here in this exact moment, is wrong or right. I love you, and I always will no matter what you do or say, and it's not supposed to be easy… But I'm going to help you get through this alive, you're not doing it alone.. I know you're sinking into a dark place right now, and I also know that you've been there before. I pulled you out once, and I can pull you out again. So talk to me about anything that's on your mind, anything. And I promise I won't be upset with you. You're the only reason I'm here."

"Oh Jack," I cried putting his face in my hands, "I just.. I feel like the past is haunting me, making me feel bad for leaving them. I don't know why, but I do, and all this about my mother and everything… It would have never happened if I never.."

"Well wait, we don't even know who did that to your mom," Jack cut in, "we can only guess, but that's all, we can't put it in writing until we know for sure."

I shut my eyes tightly to break away the tears, and then stared deep into his eyes once more. I loved him. "I love you," I told him with a weak smile, and kissed him before he could answer. I finally leaned back and he said, "I love you more," and kissed me back. We fell asleep in each other's arms. Everything went black, then turned into a vision, or dream.

_I was walking in the rain away from the big mansion I called my home. Cal ran up to me and turned me around and held me close. I cried loudly into his shirt as we both got drenched in the cold and dark windy rain that evening. I looked up into Cal's face and said, "She said he killed himself because he didn't want to take care of me, he killed himself because of me!" Cal didn't say anything. He just held me and kept looking around as we still stood out in the middle of the front yard. Then he lifted my face to his and said, "I'll take care of you. You don't need anyone else. I'll never leave you alone."_

"_I'll never leave you alone!" Cal yelled smacking me to the ground in my bedroom. _

I woke up, eyes wide open, the phrase stuck in my ears.. "I'll never leave you alone." He had repeated it to me several times throughout the years we'd been together; sometimes in a loving way, but mostly…..in a threatening way.

I reached over to Jack and grabbed his shirt really tight waking him up. "Rose," he said annoyingly, "Rose, you're digging into my skin! Rose?!" Jack's voice faded away as my body shook of anxiety and everything went numb, and finally, black again.

I woke up still lying in my bed, surprisingly. I usually found myself in a hospital or at least somewhere else. Jack was sitting next to me wiping a cold washcloth on my forehead, Lucy was sitting next to him as James stood behind her. I tried to get up, but Jack pushed me back down.

"Just rest for a while," he said.

"You have a terrible fever, hun," Lucy told me. "That's what caused your minor seizure."

"Why didn't you take me to the hospital?" I asked them feeling a migraine approaching.

"Well, you weren't out that long," Jack said. "We both fell asleep, and then I felt you tugging on my shirt, and then eventually your nails started digging into me, and you weren't responding to me at all, and then you slowly stopped and closed your eyes. I called James, and him and Lucy came over right away. You woke up a few minutes later. Are you okay though? I mean…do you _want_ to go to the hospital?"

I didn't know what I wanted to do. I felt completely out of control. I thought that having a life with Jack would be amazing, and it is, I'm not blaming him for what's going on. It's just a different path of destruction. He would never leave me alone. Cal, I mean. Jack wouldn't either of course.

"I'm sorry," I sighed looking at them. "I don't know what my problem is. Can we all just forget about this and live life like we have nothing to worry about?"

"As long as you feel better, that's all we really care about," James said.

"You guys didn't have to come over."

"We wanted to. Jack was so worried. You guys are our best friends, you're like family."

"You are my real family," I said smiling.


	12. Chapter 12

**April 10, 1916**

Lucy and I sat in the backyard and watched the kids play. I watched them and wished I was that young again, without any care or worries really…

"What're you thinking about," Lucy asked me suddenly.

I looked over at her slowly and said, "I'm thinking about the past.. Even though I know it's probably not healthy to. I always dreamed of getting away from him, but now that I am… I mean, I feel like I'm just on a vacation or something. That I'll be going back there soon, and I'll pay for what I did wrong. My whole family was just so messed up to begin with. My father was just too aggressive and depressed, my mother careless, and Cal was my best friend, but he turned into my father kind of. I just thought that he would be there for me always, and now that he's not… I still feel bad for leaving him. I love Jack to death, but I feel like I have to choose, almost choose between what's right, and what's easy."

I looked away from her, and she grabbed my hand.

"You're a good person, Rose," Lucy said. "And I believe that just the fact you're thinking about these things means you're doing the right thing. I can't even imagine really what you're going through though. But I think that only you can help yourself at this point. And I know that you can do it, it just takes time, like everything does."

That night, I took my time tucking in the kids and spent more time with them before lying down. I asked Jack to come sit with me in Marshall's room for a while, just sitting, no talking. He held me close as I thought back to the night Marshall was conceived. We were so young, and we still are, but we've gotten through so much.

I decided to call my mother. She had finally awoke and was sent home after a week and a half.

"Hello?" I heard my mother's voice say.

"….Hello, mother," I answered.

"Rose? My God, is that you, Rose? What are you doing?!"

"Wha…What do you mean, what am I doing? I just wanted to tell you I love you, and I miss you. And that I hope you're okay.."

"I thought you died," she cried with anger. "I have no one anymore, Rose. Where are you, and what have you been doing?"

"Uh, do you still talk to Cal at all?"

"I hardly ever see him… And when I do, he's a terrible wreck. Rose, you need to come home right now!"

"But I don't want to," I calmly told her.

"What do you mean? What is your problem?"

"I really wish I could understand you, and I really wish you could understand me. I have no idea what to do, or what to say anymore, and I feel so scared and lost. What am I supposed to do?" Jack sat down next to me as I cried into the phone, tears were streaming down my face as I talked to my mother for the first time in almost four years, and she made it seem it had only been five days.

"Come home so we can get back to our normal lives!" my mother screamed. "You already messed up the years you've been away! Cal's going to be very upset and happy when I tell him you called me, Rose."

"Fine. Tell him. I don't care anymore!"

I hung up the phone, and almost felt a little better than before I had called her. I was trying to straighten things out, but I didn't know how to do it the right way.

I sighed and said to Jack, "Come to bed with me, my love."

I slept better that night than I had for a month.

**April 20, 1916**

Jack and I had decided to both get different haircuts than the usual. I decided to straighten my curls, and cut my hair to about shoulder length, and then I dyed it dark brown. Jack simply just cut his hair short. I had talked him into doing it with me, but I really just wanted to disguise myself a little bit. I was sure Cal would soon be on my trail again after my mother told him about my out of the blue phone call.

Afterwards, Jack and I took the kids to a nearby park. I decided to ask him about work, to get my mind of off everything else. He was really enjoying his job, and I hadn't written in a while. I wanted to learn how to draw like Jack could. Sometimes I would sketch bad drawings of the children in the backyard or the living room.

"Hey," Jack said over the children's excited screams. "You know there's a carnival coming into town next weekend. Why don't we find a babysitter for the kids and go with James and Lucy?"

I smiled at him. "We never did ride those roller coasters, did we?"

"Well how about it? You need something to get your mind out of….wherever it's been. I'm sure we'd all have a lot of fun."

"Yeah," I laughed, "I would really enjoy that."


	13. Chapter 13

**April 30, 1916**

I asked the neighbors across the street to watch the kids for the night while Jack, James, Lucy, and I went off to the county carnival. It seemed like almost everyone who lived in Santa Monica was there. Jack said he wanted to bring the kids tomorrow night.

James and Lucy walked in front of us as I held Jack's hand excitedly. My mind was brought back to when we were on the Titanic, talking about someday riding the roller coasters until we threw up. The first thing Jack did was find us all cheap beer. All four of us put our glasses together and played the game of who could drink the fastest. We all finished the same time. I looked over at Jack and was brought back to another memory on the Titanic. He had looked at me that same way, with the surprised look on his face of my ability to drink.

I put my glass down back at the bar and put my arms around Jack and kissed him. I knew I drank too fast, and I didn't care. I was with Jack and my best friends, and I was happy.

We walked over to the main ride, the roller coaster. Laughing at God knows what, we waited for five minutes until we could have our first ride together.

"Jack, I've never ridden a roller coaster before," I said to him after buckling in.

"You've never ridden on a roller coaster before?" Lucy said turning around.

"I never got the chance."

"It's amazing, you'll love it," James said.

The roller coaster made a fast bump start before slowly going up a tall hill. I could hear my heart beating in my ears.

"Shit, this is really going high," I said looking at the small people safe on the ground.

"It's gonna be fine," Jack laughed.

I had one hand clamped onto the bar to hold on to, and my other hand clamped on Jack as we reached top and slowed down before we increased the speed as we fell down the hill into fast turns and dips and side turns and all other sorts of crazy maneuvers the ride had.

We drank more and rode the ride more, and drank and rode and repeated that for about three hours. I was totally drunk, but I enjoyed making Jack help me walk. We were all pretty drunk, so I didn't feel alone. We were having so much fun, and there were other couples doing the same thing as us, just riding the rides a million times.

James and Lucy went to the bathroom before we left. While waiting, Jack had me up against the side wall where we got our tickets and hugged and kissed me. I wrapped my arms around him and returned the love and felt so much peace for that minute. I opened my eyes for a second as our lips were still locked and saw a car at the stop light and a man staring at us, a very….familiar man.

"Cal?" I gasped stepping away from the wall. Jack turned around and the car drove away.

I stared at the car as it drove away. Jack turned my head towards him. "Hey, don't worry about it, okay?"

James and Lucy came around the corner.

"Hey what's going on," James said.

"Nothing, we're alright," Jack said smiling and putting his arm around me. "Let's catch a taxi home."

We were dropped off at our house first.

"You sure you're okay," Lucy said as I got out.

"She's fine," Jack said. "We'll see ya later."

Jack held my arm and slowly walked me to the front door as the taxi drove away. It was still hard for me to walk straight, I just wasn't as excited as I was earlier. We walked upstairs and both fell next to each other in the bed and fell asleep without saying a word.

I woke up around 7 in the morning with a headache. Jack woke up, and we just laid there, awake with each other.

"I.. I'm not worried about him," I finally said, "I just feel guilty." Jack didn't say anything, he just stared and listened.

"I don't know," I continued quietly, "He's not a horrible person, but he's not you." Jack still didn't say anything.

"What are you thinking," I asked shyly smiling at him as he just stared.

"I'm thinking," he said, "I'm lying next to the most beautiful woman in the world, and the smartest, and after all the crap she's been through with that jerk, she still feels bad for him, and you're such a good person. It'll be okay, I promise." He tucked my hair behind my ear and kissed my hand.

I sighed and smiled, "You make everything seem so light-weighted. I love you, Jack Dawson. Will you marry me?"

"Don't you think you're rushing," he joked.

We held and kissed each other until the sun rose.


	14. Chapter 14

_Hey guys, I hope you're all having a great holiday season!! I have many ideas for this story, but I need to find the right time to put them in._

_THANKS FOR EVERYTHING! _

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

**May 1, 1916**

I woke up to hear giggling and screaming voices of kids. I squinted my eyes and saw that it was 11 in the morning.

"Oh, God," I said sitting up and shaking Jack, "Wake up, Jack, you're late for work."

"I hate Mondays," he groaned rolling over, "Can't you just call in for me."

"No, they need you more than I do right now, if I need anything I'll call."

"Are we still taking the kids to the fair tonight?"

"…Sure."

"Look if you don't want to, I completely understand…You know what, last night we forget that we should probably call the police to let them know we saw him. I mean, they are still looking for him, aren't they?"

"Well, whatever you want. Look, Jack, it might have not even been him. Everything was so fuzzy last night. It could have been my imagination-"

"But it would be safe just to make sure."

I sighed as he kissed me on the cheek and put on a sweater as he walked through the living room past the kids and out the front door.

"Guess what it's time for?" I asked the kids.

Kim gasped. "What?" Marshall asked excitedly.

"Bath time!"

I laughed as the looks on their faces changed drastically. I had all three of them in the tub together. Ben was in a little float to help him keep his head above the water. All of a sudden, the dog barked and the door bell rang and made me jump. My stomach had dropped like when I went down the hill on the roller coaster, but it was of nervousness. It was very startling and my paranoia made me get up slowly and walk towards the door.

"Who is it, Samson?" I said out loud trying to calm myself.

I opened the door to see a young teenage boy standing at the door.

"Hi," he said. My name's Anthony, me and my parents just moved across the street over there.."

"Oh," I said smiling at him and holding onto Samson's collar, "Would you like to come in?"

"That's okay, I was just dropping off some mail the postman dropped off by mistake at our house."

"Oh well thank you, it actually tends to happen a lot around here."

"Yeah. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, I was just a little startled is all."

"Well sorry to disturb ya. I'll see ya around, maybe at the fair tonight?"

"Yes, my husband and I are taking our kids. See you there then!"

The young boy ran back to his house and I shut the front door. I was so thankful that he wasn't Cal. I had kept telling myself that I wanted to see Cal and tell him what's what, and get this whole mess out of the way…. But when it came to actually doing it…

I ran back upstairs to the kids. "Okay, who wants to go to the park?"

After Jack got off work, he met the kids and I at the park and we walked to the fair. Jack let them get hopped up off cotton candy while he rode all the kiddie rides with them as I watched. I used Jack's new camera to take pictures of them, but had to promise not to get any sticky fingers from the cotton candy on it.

Just then, Anthony ran up beside me. "Hey," he said.

"Oh hi!"

"Your kid on that ride?"

"Yeah, my husbands on there with my oldest one. This is our youngest, Kim."

"Hey there, buddy! So, you guys gonna be here most of the evening?"

"Uhm, you know, I'm not sure. I think Jack works tomorrow, so we'll be leaving a little early probably.. Are you here with your parents?"

"No, I just came on my own. I'm kind of just hanging out."

Jack walked over with Marshall to greet us. I introduced them and told them Anthony had just moved into town. We chatted for a while, and then we walked back to the house. On the corner of our street, there were police cars blocked the ends. Lucy and James ran over to us.

"Whatever happens, you can stay with us," Lucy cried.

"Lucy, just calm down," James said pulling Jack towards the house. "You should see this."

As Jack and James walked away into the house, I got that horrible feeling in my stomach. Lucy was still crying.

"What happened??" I asked her.

"Well, me and James were just sitting in the house, and I heard braking, so I looked out and saw some guys running from your house to a car, and then I called the police, and then they came and James and I went inside the house, we tried to call you!"

"What happened?!"

"There was blood everywhere! In the kids rooms! I don't know how, or why, it was just so horrifying and-"

"Well what did they look like?!"

"Who?"

"The men!!! Lucy, what did the men look like? Could you see their faces?"

"They were wearing dark clothes, I wouldn't be able to identify them to save my life. Oh Rose, I'm so sorry."

I looked over at the house and started walking slowly towards it.

"Keep the kids with you," I told Lucy.

I stepped through the front door to find everything the way it had been when the kids and I left. Jack and some police officers were upstairs. I walked up to them, and Jack walked up to me.

"What's going on," I asked him.

Jack just walked away and put his hands to his eyes. The two kids rooms were marked off with caution tape, along with the bathroom. I opened Marshall's room to find a gigantic puddle of blood filling in his bed, along with splatters on the walls. I walked out and went into our room. The bed had just a little pool of blood, that's all. It wasn't until I walked into the bathroom when I almost fainted. The whole bathtub was full of blood, and had the kids toys floating around in it. I nearly threw up before Jack caught me from falling over. I started sobbing as I walked down the stairs and out of the house.


	15. Just a quick update and note

_**hey girls and guys! So I recently have gotten a review, along with others, saying that I should talk about what jack is thinking. As you can tell, my story is narrated by rose, but if it's okay with you, and I care, because I love you, tell me if you would like me to start over with jack's thoughts up to the point I am at now, and then I can the narrator, or continue on just going back and forth until I feel like ending the story, which might not even happen, but whatever. I just wanted to see what some of your thoughts are on it. I think it's a pretty neat idea. Hope you're enjoying the holidays!!!**_


	16. Chapter 15

_Hey guys!!! I've been soooo busy with school and Christmas and stupid snow!!! But I'm back and here's another chapter! Hope you're all having fun enjoying the Holidays!!!! Take care!!!!!!!!!_

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Jack followed me out of the house, along with James. We were told that we wouldn't be able to stay in our house for a few weeks, maybe even a month. Jack quickly went in and got all that we needed, clothes, toys, Samson…

We found Samson outside in the backyard lying down, he was wounded but not so bad. The first thing Jack wanted to do was take him to a veterinarian right away. He told me that he would take him by himself, and for me to go and stay with Lucy and James and make sure the kids were okay. I was shaking as he told me all of this, almost blocked out as if I wasn't really listening to him. He kissed my forehead and left me as a police officer ran up to me and started asking me questions.

"Ma'am," he loudly asked me. "Are you okay, ma'am?"

I shook my head after a minute.

"We're going to have to question you and others, but right now we need to take care of what's inside your house. Will you be staying with the Mervins?"

"Yes, sir," James said walking up behind me and slowly pulling me away, "You have my telephone number?"

The police officer nodded and James turned me around and walked me back to the kids.

"What's going on, mommy?" Marshall asked innocently.

"We're going to spend some time with Lucy, James, and Heather for a while," I said leaning down to hold him, "Would you like to see Heather more?" I felt him nod his head against me and I pulled Kim towards us.

Throughout the whole rest of the day, I stood at the Mervin's front window and stared at my house. Jack walked inside with Samson. Samson whined a little as he laid down. I turned my head and smiled at Jack as he walked over to me.

"What's with the grin," Jack sighed, "Don't tell me you're the one behind all of this chaos."

"My mind isn't that morbid," I replied, "Well, I was thinking about Cal, and I was thinking back to when we were on the Titanic, and how amazing I felt knowing that there _was_ a way out. This whole situation completely surprised me, but at the same time, brought back memories, and no one was hurt, that's all that matters really."

"No one was hurt, yet," Jack said putting his arm around me, "I really know nothing about your past with Cal, so I can't say I'm surprised or not surprised that he won't leave us alone….What?"

"It's so funny," I laughed, "We blame everything on him."

"Yeah," Jack snickered.

"It would be quite scary if it wasn't Cal," I said straightening my face. I looked over at Jack and then back at the house. "What if it has nothing to do with him?"

"Who else would do this, and why?"

"I wish they knew how to find out who's blood that belonged to," I sighed, "It's going to drive me insane."

We were quiet for a long time, and then I looked at Jack and saw him staring at the ground with an odd look on his face.

"Hey Jack," I said nudging him.

"What?" he said looking up at me.

"What are you thinking about?"

He sighed. "Nothing. Come on, you need to get some sleep, I'll put the kids to bed."

Jack and I walked over to the bedroom Lucy made up for us. I stopped before I passed Lucy and hugged her.

"Thank you for bringing us in," I told her. "The kids most importantly, they shouldn't have to pay for the consequences or choices we made in the past."

"You mean you think you know what broke into your house?" Lucy asked wide eyed.

"Well, I don't know," I said, "It's just a feeling, I'm probably wrong. But I'm tired and I just don't want to think about it right now."

"Yeah, you go ahead and sleep. And don't worry about anything, Rose. It'll be okay."

"Thanks again, Lucy, you're a great friend."

I was laying down for a long time before sleeping, Jack was, too, I could sense it. We both rolled over to face each other at the same time.

"You can sleep in tomorrow if you want," he sighed, "I'll take the kids to school and pick them up."

"Are you sure," I said sleepily, "I'm not a bird with a broken wing, I can function fine after…"

"No, I just really think that I should be responsible for this."

"Why? You had nothing to do with what happened?"

"Yeah, well, I'm starting to not be so sure about that.."

"Uhm…What do you mean?"

"It's a long story I never told you, and I should have told you. You were always so honest with me. You _are_ so honest with me. I just…. There was so much stuff going on with Cal that I just let it go, but I could be wrong. We both could be wrong. We could just be a random house some insane person picked to sabotage…"

I sat up and looked at him. "What haven't you told me," I asked him suspiciously.

"Are you mad?" he asked.

"Jack, talk to me, now."

He sat up before sighing and starting off.

"Okay, well, you remember when were talking on the Titanic, and I told you that my parents died when I was 15? Well, I never really did tell you how they died. And, I also lied to you about being an only child. I had an older brother. I _have_ an older brother, as far as I know, if he's still alive. My parents were always arguing, every night. They both were alcoholics, and didn't pay too much attention to us. One night, my dad came home, he wasn't drunk or anything, he was just in a bad mood. And he shot my mom, right in front of my brother and I. And then he shot himself. Bobby, my brother, told me to stay in the house, and he ran to the police station to get help. He came back with a few police men ten minutes later. They started questioning us both, about who did what and what happened and all that. They believed us. I was able to stay in a home for a while until I was seventeen, but Bobby was too old to get anything like that. They made him live on the streets, and it was hard to find a job. I think he really had a lot of anger since then. I think he blames me, I never really saw him much after that. Maybe I'm just being selfish and whatever, but I think that maybe he came back and did that to our house. He could be a very troubled person right now. I never found out what happened to him. And if it is him, I'm sorry, Rose. We shouldn't, especially the kids, and Lucy and James and Heather, have to go through any of this because of something the authorities messed up on. It feels so good to have said all that now, and I hope you're not too upset with me for keeping it in this long."

I stared at him in awe, and then climbed on top of him and hugged him and started crying, "You understand. No one else will ever understand what it's like, to have a father kill them self."

I could hear Jack sniffing and breathing deeply as he held me. I held him tighter and never felt a closer connection with anyone else.

"I love you, Jack," I said, "I love you. It's going to be okay, I promise."


	17. Chapter 16

I laid next to Jack still wide awake as he slept beside me, very soundly and peaceful. I felt so horrible. Jack had set aside all of his problems for mine. He didn't really lie to me. I never really did ask him how his parents died, after all these years. What kind of wife am I? I wanted to go for a walk or something, just get away and think. Almost wanting to run away, and stop put hardships on others, but I couldn't leave the kids.

I kept looking over at Jack, wanting to say something to him, wake him up and talk more about how I felt, but that was just it, I wanted to talk about how _I_ felt, but I should be listening to him instead. I can't believe how selfish I have become…. All those years growing up with my mother and being around all the snobbish adults made me turn into them, no matter how far I tried to get away from it. I started to cry, but couldn't breathe, so I had to take deep breaths. Then I buried my head in the pillow after I heard Jack awake because of me. At least I thought he woke up, but I guess he just tossed in his sleep. I calmed down a bit and shut my eyes trying to sleep and forget about all of this. I wanted Jack to tell me that he loved me, even though I knew he did, I was in a very vulnerable state at the moment, I needed to be told that I was loved and needed, and that I'm a good person. It made me feel selfish though. It made me feel alone, just like when I was with Cal. Then I started thinking that maybe it was me, it was all me. I'm just being silly.

After thinking about nonsense for another half hour, I finally fell asleep, warm, but shivering.

I woke up a few hours later around 7AM and walked over to the door and looked out the window across the street just to talk to some of the guys about what had been going on. I felt someone grab my arm about half way into the street and turn me around. It was Jack.

"What're you doing?" he asked me.

"I was just going to ask how it was going," I replied.

"Oh. Well, listen, Rose, I really think we should just leave this all behind and move somewhere else."

"Move? Move where?"

"Well, I don't know, but now with this whole thing about my brother, and Cal, I mean, it's just too much to keep track of, it's getting ridiculous."

"It's not," I sighed, "We'll be fine, we've been fine, no one was hurt, I really think that whoever did this, if it was your brother or Cal, that they're just trying to scare us."

"Well what if next time the bathtub is full of blood, what if one of the kids is found in it?"

"Oh, please don't say that, Jack…."

"I'm just trying be realistic, we need to be cautious, and think about what's best for all of us."

"But Jack, it's not going to stop!" I yelled accidentally, "I mean….I really don't think there's anything we can really do. And wasting our money on another house, whoever this is will find us again one way or another."

"Come on now, don't be so pessimistic, Rose."

"Well right now, I find it a little hard to be realistic _and_ optimistic at the same time. I think we should just stay here."

"No, I don't think so."

"We can't move unless both of us agrees, and right now, I don't agree we should."

He just stared at me as I stared back at him. Then I started thinking that maybe we should move just because it's what Jack wants. I looked away from him and then looked back.

"Okay," I said to him, "If you want to move, Jack, we can move."

"Are you sure," he asked.

"Yes, yes I am. Whatever you want, just as long as you're happy, I'm happy."

I walked over and hugged him, and he led me into the Mervin's house to discuss the new plan we had just made.

"Don't move you guys," Lucy pleaded.

"Wait a second, Lucy," James said. "So, you're telling me you're moving because you think that guy, what's-his-name, is after you? And now you have another guy in the picture?" He nodded towards Jack referring about his brother.

"I just think that it would be safer is all," Jack said.

"I'd hate to see you two go. Are you sure you can't stay? We could get some help around here to make you feel more safe."

"No, that's okay. It's something I think we have to do."

I held Jack's hand. He and I were the only ones who really knew why we had to do whatever we were doing. James and Lucy knew about Cal and Bobby, but they didn't know enough to really understand. They said they would help us all they could though. I was going to miss them, we all had grown very close, and if Jack thinks that the best thing to do is to move away from his best friends, then he must really have a right feeling going on in the back of his mind.


	18. Update!

Hey guys sorry it's been a while, I've been busy of course with stupid school and stupid work. But I'm still alive, don't worry..lol….. I have a chapter that's almost done that I started like a month ago, I'll try to finish it soon and put it up and blah.

Take care everyone!


	19. Chapter 17

**May 13, 1916**

We moved on a Saturday to Sperry, Oklahoma. The motto, "Everyone's Welcome," stuck out to Jack, and it was a very small town that not a lot of people would ever hear of if they didn't go looking for it. 

"I know that this whole _thing_ seems ridiculous," Jack said on the long road trip. "I'd rather be safe than sorry is all I'm saying, and…well, I don't want to loose you."

"Jack," I laughed, "You're not going to loose me."

"I lost you tons of times, not to count the other tons of times I lost you on the Titanic."

"You lost me like once or twice."

"Once is bad enough."

"If anything even remotely suspicious happens, then we'll just have to move again, to Saturn."

"Why Saturn?"

"Because it has rings, and because Saturnus, the Roman god it was named after, was the god of agriculture, justice, and strength."

"Okay," he laughed.

"Oh, and it's Saturday, and Saturday comes from him, too."

Jack pulled into a driveway that belonged to a small house, but a big backyard. I was starting to feel like we were in the middle of no where, before a truck drove by. I looked over as it passed and gasped.

"Rose," Jack yelled. "Come on inside." He walked over to me as I turned around.

"I'm really loosing my mind," I said shaking my head and walking with him.

"Why, what's the matter?" Jack asked.

"Nothing, I just thought I saw someone I knew in California is all."

"Well who was it?"

"Oh you don't know him."

"Him?"

"It was just that boy, Anthony, or I thought it was him. We just rushed to move and I never got a chance to say goodbye to everyone, I guess I'm just seeing things because I feel bad."

"Well you better be seeing things. We don't need a young punk stalking us now."

"You used to be a young punk once," I said smiling at him before holding his hand and walking to the front door.

It didn't take us as long as we thought it would to unpack everything. The kids, though, were rather bored. I didn't blame them, there wasn't much to do in the small town Jack took us to. 

As we started to finish with everything, I told myself I needed to block the whole _past_ out of my mind. I had to get rid of it somehow, somehow… I had to let it go, but how? How does one forget such painful memories?

"Jack," I said lying in bed next to him. "Do you think I should talk to someone?"

"What do you mean?" he said after a few seconds.

"…I just…I just… I don't ….. How…."

"Oh, sweetheart, come here." Jack held me close and eased a little bit of the pain in my chest.

"Who do you want to talk to?" he asked. "Like, what kind of person are you talking about?"

"..Uh.. A doctor….maybe?"

"Doctor? Rose, what's wrong?"

"I just feel like I'm going insane! Like…. All of it will always be a part of me, and there's nothing I can do about it… This horrible story… This horrible _nightmare_ will never end… And I keep thinking that I have such false hope, looking at you and the kids…. I love you with all my heart and all my soul, I'm so thankful… But I feel like I'm not supposed to have this.. But I don't know what I did… why I feel this way… just please.. Please never leave me, Jack…."

"Rose, I would _never_ leave you. No matter how insane you are. You can't let all of that get to you, and if talking to a doctor will help, well then I'll be there for you every single step of the way until God Himself stops me, no matter what, I promise."

I buried my face into his chest and wept and sobbed until he lifted my head to his again.

"Hey," he said calmly and sweetly, "I promise. After all, you jump, I jump. Right?"

I stared into his eyes, so full of hope and faith. I wanted to say "right," but couldn't. I didn't want to give _him_ false hope. Then, I thought to myself, maybe it really is all me. I feel so hopeless. I don't know what I did, I don't know what I said, I don't know what I didn't do or didn't say; but it felt like I was stuck at the bottom of a well, and Cal was this monster lurking around, and Jack was trying to rescue me, and I knew how to get out, but was just curious to stay down under, even though I hated being there, all alone. What was wrong with me? What _is_ wrong with me?

Jack wasn't going to stop staring back into my eyes until I said "right." My lips shook and my eyes welled with tears and got heavy and tired. 

"Right," I finally said.

Jack kissed me and held me and comforted me the rest of the night. I loved him, I did. I was just having problems, and I needed to fix them and figure them out. All Jack has ever done was for the good of our family. He was and is the only solid rock I've ever had. What am I without Jack? I'm just a girl, a little girl that won't cooperate with first class society like she should. Jack gives me purpose and strength.

"Thank you," I told him laughing in the morning. I got on top of him and hugged and kissed him and kept thanking him for it all. Being close to him was like medicine for my pain, but I still had a hole somewhere inside me. Somewhere inside my mind, it had been raining for a long time, in a dark place, and the only one to stop it was me, but I needed help. And admitting that to Jack was the first step to moving forward.


	20. Chapter 18

Yo yo yo! I can't believe I haven't been writing so much as I used to, I love this stuff, but you know how I was talking about doing it from jack's point of view? Well I have a great idea how to do that, and transition into it without going back to the beginning. It's not now, but it'll come soon. Peace out. Lol.

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**May 17, 1916**

After everything was unpacked, Jack and I went looking for daycare centers for Marshall and Kim. Jack said that after we get everything settled that he would help me find a doctor. I was a little scared, but at the same time excited, because not a lot of (fun) exciting things come into my life, or have been at least for a while.

Jack talked to someone at his new job about trying to get me a sort of therapist or something. He said that there was a man he could take me to named James Geus. He had been studying all about Sigmund Freud and his theories about the human mind. I wasn't really into all the getting into the human mind, I just wanted to forget the past. I didn't want to have to deal with it.

Jack started his job on Saturday, the 20th. I told him that I would go see Mr. Geus on Monday while the kids were away. He asked me if I wanted him to go with me, but I wasn't too sure if I wanted him to, I mean, at least not at first. I felt like I needed someone who didn't know too much about the past and why I wanted to get rid of it. If only there was this crazy voodoo thing the man could do, to just…give me….amnesia or something. 

But then I felt bad thinking that way, I need to confront these problems. I need help first though. I'm not as strong as Jack may think I am. Jack was right, I would have never jumped that night on the Titanic. I would even still be alive to this day if I had never even met Jack. I would be with Cal, miserable and insane of depression. I would be broken. Jack gave me the courage to try to move on. And I'm trying. But something's just not right about all this.

**May 22, 1916**

It was Monday. I walked into town to the small building where Mr. Geus had worked for over ten years. I walked up the steps and knocked on the door without hesitation. The door opened and revealed a man who looked to be in his mid forties with big blue eyes and long brown hair in a ponytail. 

"Hello," he said cheerfully stepping away so I could walk in.

"Hello," I said with a weak smile walking past him.

I looked around and smacked my head as I remembered that this guy didn't even know who I was or why I was there.

"I'm sorry," I said putting out my hand, "My name is Rose Dawson, my husband's friend told me about you."

"Well, Rose," he said shaking my hand and still smiling, "What can I help you with?"

"Well… I was just looking for a doctor in town, someone to talk to.. I-I'm having problems.."

"What kind of problems? Talk to me, here sit down."

I sat down with him at a small diner table and wondered how on Earth I was going to tell him my story without it being so _long_.

"I'm trying to make a long story short," I told him laughing.

"Well just start from the beginning," he said.

"I just… It's my past. I was born into a rich family, but my father died and lost all our money, and my mother wanted me to marry a rich man, so we would stay rich and classy, you know…. But I couldn't do it, I mean, I loved him, I mean, I think I did, but I didn't anymore, I was trapped, and I didn't want to be here, but then I met Jack, and everything's okay now, I just… There are a lot of memories I need to get rid of, and I'm paranoid, Cal, the man my mother wanted me to marry, keeps trying to find me, he even did once… and I don't know where he is now… I just… I just need to let it go, but I don't know how.."

"Your cathexis is huge and very much surrounded by more than one thing."

"Cathe-what?" 

"Cathexis. It's a Freudian word, sorry, I'm trying to make sure I use it a lot, so I can get used to it. It means that you have a lot of emotional energy in you right now, and what I meant by surrounded by more than one thing is that your mind is going a million miles not in just one direction, but a million different directions.."

Mr. Geus flung his arms up and got a far-off look in his eyes like he had just discovered how to travel back in time.

"So basically you're saying that I'm thinking too much?" 

"That, or maybe you're not thinking enough."

"…Right…?"

"Well, you mentioned a man named Jack?"

"Yeah, he's my husband."

"How did you meet?"

"I met him on the Titanic, while I was still engaged-"

"You were on the Titanic?! Oh, sorry, go ahead."

"Yes, yes I was. I was with Cal. We were engaged. But we were having problems, well, _I_ was having problems."

"So did Jack have anything to do with you leaving Cal?"

"Well, he did, but not in a bad way really. Cal was way too controlling, he had changed, he used to be so sweet, and caring, and he was always there for me, but one day I woke up and realized that he had changed… Like he grew up, but the wrong way, and I couldn't be a part of it… And the only way I could get away from him was to..was to kill myself…."

"But you didn't."

"No, no I couldn't. Jack wouldn't let me. He wouldn't leave me alone. I felt like we had a sudden connection. He was like how Cal used to be, only better. He did all he could to keep me safe on that boat… Even when it wasn't there anymore… when we were in the water… He stayed there with me, and held my hand, while I lied on a piece of floating wood, big enough for only one of us… I even thought he died. He saved my life, and here I am, still crying over the past, and he's still taking care of me…"

"You seem to have very low self-esteem."

"What?"

"You don't give yourself credit. I think you would be fine without Jack, would you have really killed yourself?"

"Wait, I would _fine_ without Jack?"

"I'm just saying hypothetically, Rose."

"Well hypothetically -- I don't even want to go into detail about what would or could have happened if I never met Jack, and just stayed with Cal, and his lifestyle."

"Maybe men aren't your type."

"What?"

"Maybe it's not you, Rose. Maybe you should accept the fact that you turned down the wrong road, and you need to get your life back on track, and do what you want to do, and not what others want you to do, just because you feel you have a debt to pay to them because they did something for you that you were and are totally capable of doing yourself, and that, Rose, that's surviving."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"More than half of Titanic passengers died. But you didn't."

"Yeah because I had Jack to tell me what to do and where to go, and what is this about men aren't my type? Just so you know, I am not a lesbian!"

"What's wrong with being a lesbian?"

"I never said there was anything wrong with being a lesbian!"

"And even if you didn't go with Jack, you still had Cal. I'm sure that all the first class passengers got the first chance to survive first."

"Well, I didn't! I had the LAST chance! I was on the top of that boat as it went down, with Jack! Cal would have never stayed with me."

"Why do you think Jack stayed with you?"

"….Because he loves me."

"Did Cal love you?"

"He did… I doubt he still does, highly doubt.." 

"Do you love Cal?"

"I did."

"Do you love Jack?"

I stared at Mr. Geus and thought back to when Jack kept asking me whether or not I loved Cal at the time. Why was he talking about Jack? It's like he's trying to turn me away from him.

"Ohhh…. Oh I know what this is. Look, I don't care who you are or what you think, but I am never leaving Jack for anyone, especially you! What, you think you can call me a lesbian and think I'll prove my point of not being one by sleeping with you? Is that all you Freudian freaks think about? Sex? Huh?!"

I sat up and started to walk out the door when Mr. Geus called out to me.

"Rose," he said softly, "You have it all wrong. I'm trying to help you. And if "egging" you on will do the trick, then that's what I do. It seems to work with a lot of people, especially women."

I just stared at him for a few seconds and then turned around and walked out the door not wanting to return and quickly headed home.


	21. Update and Ch 19 And 20

Okay, first off, I have no idea why all these have been up here underlined, it's kind of annoying to me, and if it's annoying to anyone else, sorry, I don't know how to get it off.

Hope it's warm wherever you are, because it's not where I am.

Also, my internet has been acting up, so I'm at my school's library, and all I could do at home was write, so I wrote like two chapters in one night!!!! So here are two chapters in one…thing. Lol.

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_**Chapter 19**_

**May 22, 1916**

"What a fucking quack," I sighed to myself as I walked into my house.

I walked over to the bedroom. No one was home yet. Jack said he would pick up the kids after work. I wanted to tell Jack to tell his friend that Mr. Geus was out of his mind. That, or I'm out of my mind.

"_You're not insane," _the little voice in the back of my head whispered. _"Call him, before he calls _him_."_

I was starting to worry about what the crazy voice meant. Jack always said he'd never leave me, I don't know. Maybe it was because the stupid Freud guy put it into my head that I would leave Jack before he would leave me, and he wouldn't, he said he wouldn't, and Jack is a man of his word.

But who am I?

Just then, Jack and the kids walked through the door. Silence turned to rowdiness in less than a second as I walked out of the bedroom.

"Hi there my three sweethearts," I said bending down to hug the kids. "How was your first day at the daycare center? Did you like it?"

"Are we going back tomorrow, mommy?" Marshall said nodding his head against my shoulder.

"Yes, but you two can stay home with me on Wednesday, okay?"

As the kids trotted off to go play, I stood up with Jack still standing in front of me.

"So," he said walking closer to me, "How was the therapy?"

"Yeah, well," I started to say rolling my eyes, "I'm not going back there, you can tell your friend that guy is a nut."

Jack grabbed my arm as I went to walk away.

"Wait," he said, "Well, what happened?"

"It's not important, it's just ridiculous. Whatever this is, I'll figure it out myself."

"But _what happened_?"

"I told you, it's not important, Jack!"

I pulled my arm out of his grip and walked away back to the bedroom to my thoughts. Maybe I could write my feelings down, make some sort of a book about it, like I did last time, only this would be deeper. But I feel so much, it's like I don't even know where to start and where to end.

I was in the mood to call my mother and ask her for Cal's number, but not when Jack was around.

I took a long shower at night time. The hair dye had completely washed away now, my hair was red again. Cal would recognize me in a second if I walked past him, but I didn't care. I wanted him to find me, I wanted to straighten my feelings out. I wanted him to tell me it was okay to move on, and that he understood. He didn't even have to tell me sorry for it all. I want to let him off the hook, and I want him to let _me_ off the hook as well.

"_Yeah, Rose, that's the right thing to do," _the little voice said, _"Keep everything from Jack, why should he know what you're doing anyways, oh and by the way, I'm being sarcastic."_

"Ughhh," I groaned to myself as I was drying myself off.

"Rose, are you okay?" Jack called through the other side of the door.

"I'm fine, Jack."

"No you're not.. Just… Will you please talk to me?"

"Jack, I don't want to argue with you right now, okay?!"

"Why not?"

"I just don't want to talk about it to you," I sobbed opening the door and walking past him.

I walked into the bedroom and slammed the door in Jack's face.

"Rose, open the door!"

"Stop YELLING AT ME! Can't you just leave me alone?!"

I stopped and felt so bad. I had talked to him almost as if he were Cal. He didn't say anything.

"Jack? I'm sorry, Jack."

He still didn't say anything. I got dressed and walked out of the room to find him. He was gone. He was nowhere in the house. Marshall and Kim were still playing in the living room. I waited hours for him to come back.

It was almost 8:30 at night when I heard a knock at the door. I hoped it was Jack, although I'm sure if he was back, he would just walk in.

I opened the door and wanted to close it immediately but it was held.

"Mrs. Dawson," Mr. Geus said standing there with a stupid smile on his face. "You never paid me for your walk-in appointment."

"Fine," I sighed, "How much do you need?"

"$100."

"100?! Well, maybe you should come back tomorrow, when my husband comes back."

"Oh so Jack isn't here, huh?"

"He'll be back tomorrow."

"Well you can repay me another way if you want," he said trying to get more inside.

"Get the fuck away from me!"

"Rose, you have really bad language for someone who was raised in the rich class."

"Shut up."

Someone else walked up behind Mr. Geus. It was Jack, thank God.

"Here, Jack, this is the guy I talked to, he needs $100."

"Fine, take it. Just leave us alone," Jack said closing the door in Mr. Geus' face.

"Thank you," I said to Jack as he walked past me. "Where were you?"

"I was out," he replied.

"Jack, I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier-"

"Look, don't even say anything, it's okay, really. If you need to just be alone, then I'll leave you alone. I respect that. And, I'm sorry that I bothered you with my concern."

"Oh, Jack-"

"No, Rose, really. I'm sorry about whatever happened with you and that man."

He turned away and walked over to the bedroom. I pierced my lips as I thought about what to do next. I wanted to talk to him, and apologize for everything, and I mean _everything_. But I didn't know how to explain my feelings. I couldn't even do it with Mr. Geus, I only got so far…

I put the kids to bed and laid down next to Jack. I looked over at him and wanted to say something, but I didn't know what. I wanted to hug him and hold him, but I felt like he was upset with me, and I hate that tension. It's something I've never really dealt with before. Cal was always upset with me, but I never cared, and that's the difference, if Jack's mad at me, I care.

The kids were going to daycare tomorrow, and Jack was off work. Maybe things will be better tomorrow, I could only hope. For now, I just had to sleep and slip away to my private get-away of hopes and dreams, and eternal happiness.

_**Chapter 20**_

**May 23, 1916**

I woke up around 11 A.M. It was very late for me. I got up to find Jack and the kids gone. I took a shower and had some breakfast before waiting for Jack to return home so I could get things back on track.

He came home at 11:30 and I ran right up to him.

"I want to talk to you about what I talked about with Mr. Geus yesterday," I said to him.

"No you don't," Jack said and walked past me.

"Jack, I just said, let me talk about it with you, you need to know what's going on, it's your right, I mean, you paid for it."

"Okay. I'm listening."

"Fine. I went to his place, and we started talking. I told him about Cal, and how we met, and how everything with Cal went on and stuff. He just… He went off track and kept trying to egg me on."

"What do you mean, egg you on?"

"He kept asking me whether I loved Cal or whether I loved you, and he asked me if I was a lesbian, or something, and then told me that I was more capable than I thought and I was strong and didn't need anyone, or even you, to survive, but it's not true! He messed with my mind, and tried to make me think I didn't love you, but I do, and I really don't want you to be upset with me, Jack. I don't want to keep things from you…."

I walked over to him and put my hands on his shoulders as tears welled up in my eyes waiting for a response from him that would lighten my worries.

"I don't know what to do, Rose," he said wiping away a sliding tear from my cheek, "I don't know what to say. I want to help in every way I can, but I'm not sure if there's even one way, or anything at all that I can do to make it all better. What else happened?"

"Nothing. I left. But Jack, I hope you don't get mad, but, I think I want to call my mother."

"Okay."

I took a deep breath as I picked up the phone and dialed my mother's number.

"Hello," came my mother's usual tone.

"Hi mom," I said back.

"Rose? Is that you, Rose?"

"Yes, how are you?"

"Alright. I miss you."

"I miss you, too."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, yes I'm okay. I'm calling to ask if you had Cal's number by any chance?"

"Why? Are you not with Jack, did he leave you, and now you're crawling back?"

"No, no," I said staring at Jack's surprised face. "I just need to talk to him is all."

"About what?"

"It's kind of personal."

"What could be personal between you two?"

"You know, mother, it's that talent you have of going from nice to harsh in a second that keeps me feeling about you the way I do."

"…..I'll have him contact you."

My mother hung up on me. I couldn't wait though…. It needed to be done. Now.

"You want to talk to Cal?" Jack said after I hung the phone up.

"Jack I need to get some things out of me, please don't be upset."

"I'm not mad," he laughed.

"You're not?"

"No, I think you're a very courageous person for standing up and confronting these sorts of things. It's one of those things about you that turn me on."

He put his hands around my waist as I blushed and turned away. He wiped away more welling and falling tears and kissed me before picking me up and carrying me to our bedroom.

"Are you sure we're okay," I asked him after he placed me on our bed.

"Why wouldn't we be," he said, "Don't you trust me?"

He held my hands up against the bed and started kissing me; I tried to fall into the place I used to go when this happened, but I felt like I was locked in a room, I wasn't available to feel the emotions required for this situation. The connection between us didn't feel as tight as it used to be, to me at least.

"Jack, stop," I said suddenly. "Something's not right."

"What's not right?" he asked.

"…This," I said shaking my head, eyes closed, and afraid of his response.

"Okay," Jack said getting off of me and the bed. "I know I'm going to probably come off as an asshole, but for now, I'm done talking to you and doing anything with you. I don't know what's going on, I don't know what to do, or even say, but whatever it is, I just hope that you get over it soon."

"Get over it?" I said sitting up. "You have _no_ idea what's going on in my head right now, Jack. I don't even know!"

"What do you want me to do?"

"What do you want _me_ to do?"

"I want you to be better, I want you to be… I want us to be the way we were."

"When we met, Jack, when I just ran away with you around the Titanic, and after the Titanic, I forgot that I had a life, and whether or not I liked it, it was there, and I left it without making any closure. I need to go back and do that, and I need to go back and do it alone."

"Rose, you saw what happened at the other house, I don't think it's a good idea for you to go alone."

"I have to. And we don't even know if Cal had anything to do with that!"

"Please, don't go…."

I walked up to him and hugged him.

"Jack, I'm so sorry for the way I've been acting. Just know that I love you deeply, with my whole heart and soul and mind and body. You're my life, my whole life, you gave me my life back, I would have no life without you. I promise I'll come back, I'll come back and we can be happy again, and I'll make everything up to you."

Now Jack was the one crying, of course, I was already crying.

"You can't just leave. Can't you just wait… until he calls? And tell him to come here? I'll even leave, but at least I'll know where you are.."

"Yeah, that's a better idea, I guess... I'll just have to wait for his call. I'll call my mother after another week."

We laid back down on the bed and Jack held me until it was time to pick up the kids, whispering every five minutes in my ear how much he loved me. He held me tight and let me fall asleep in his arms. It was a peaceful moment I would always remember and cherish.


	22. Chapter 21

**Hey guys, this is following from the same day as the last chapter. This is the last chapter that is going to be in rose's point of view (for now at least).**

**By the way, oh my god, I haven't had internet seriously, but I just got it back like yesterday, so I wrote up to I think chapter 23...but I'll put the next chapters up later, I usually don't put a new chapter up until some reviews or something or blah. **

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I woke up to find it was 6:45 P.M. The kids were supposed to be picked up at 5 P.M.

"Shit," I whispered getting off the bed and accidentally waking Jack.

"Rose, where're you going?"

"The kids, I have to pick them up, I'm late!"

"Well I can go get them."

"No that's okay, you look comfortable."

Thankfully for the season, it was still light out. I walked down the block to the daycare center hoping they were still there, even though it closed at 6 P.M. Hopefully I wouldn't be scolded for forgetting them.

As I got closer, Marshall and Kim came into focus sitting against the door alone. I ran up to them.

"Oh I'm sorry you guys," I said bending down to pick up Kim. "Isn't anyone around here looking after you."

"Everyone's gone," Marshall said shaking his head.

I stood up surprised and furious. Who would just leave a 4 and 2 year old here all by themselves? I grabbed Marshall's hand and tried to walk as quickly as he could keep up with me back to the house. 

I got in and put Kim down and went back to Jack.

"Jack I found the kids just sitting against the door all by themselves," I said to him angrily.

"Are you kidding," Jack said rubbing his eyes.

"No, I'm not kidding! They were there for almost an hour alone! Well as far as I know…"

"Okay well, just calm down, they're fine now-"

"Something could have happened!"

"Well let's be thankful nothing did happen, instead of yelling about it, just.. Maybe find a new daycare center or something."

"Jack!!!"

"What??"

"Why are you so calm about _everything_?!"

"..I don't know… Why are so _not_ calm about everything?"

"Ugh, Jack!!! I asked you first!"

"Look you need to calm down alright? The kids are probably thinking what hell's the matter with all this nonsense going on."

"It's not nonsense, Jack!"

"You just…need to _calm down_."

"Have you already forgotten what happened at the last house??!!"

"Is that what this is all about?"

Jack walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. I followed him. He picked up the phone and dialed a number.

"Who are you calling?" I asked him.

"Who are you calling?!" I asked again when he didn't respond.

He put his free hand over my mouth.

"Hey, James, how you doing?" Jack said as I pushed him hand away.

"Yeah, we're all fine, it's alright…… Really, that fast?…. Yeah she's still really upset about it….. I guess we could, I'll have to ask her…. Well we could work something out…. I don't think she'll want them around there….. Haha, yeah right…."

I sat down on the couch in the living room while Jack finished his conversation. The kids were playing with their usual toys. I felt like a cigarette at the moment. I was real fidgety. After a few minutes, Jack hung up and came in the living room with two glasses of red wine. 

"Here, drink this," he said handing me a glass.

"Was that James Mervin?" I asked.

"How many other James' do we know? He wants us to go see him for a weekend. We can get someone to watch the kids here, I don't know if you felt comfortable taking them there again."

"I don't feel comfortable leaving them alone with people we barely know."

"So you want to take them with us?"

"No."

"Well, then… what's your plan, we're going to go see them. Don't you want to see them?"

"Can't they come over here?"

"They invited us over there, and besides, you're the one that wants to confront your problems, or is this one that just scares you to death?"

I grabbed Jack and dragged him into the bedroom and shut the door.

"Okay, first off, we shouldn't argue in front of the kids."

"They're four and two, what's going to happen?"

"Believe me, parents fighting ruins your life, I know you wouldn't understand that so I'm letting you off the hook. If a puddle of blood sitting in your son and daughter's beds doesn't give you the slightest bit of worries, then I'm just going to start to think that maybe YOU had something to do with it?"

"Oh that's just ridiculous, Rose! And who the hell's blood would I have put there?"

"Probably your's."

"Probably your's, you're so white as it is, and not just because you sit around the house now moping about how confused you are about your life."

"You're no fucking help!!"

"I know I'm no _fucking_ help! I'm no fucking help at all anymore, or according to that stupid therapist, I never even was!!"

"Fuck you," I said to him and walked out the door.

"Where're you going?!" Jack yelled following me to the front door.

"Out!" And I slammed the door in his face, and he didn't even run after me.


	23. Chapter 22

**Attention young ones! This chapter is in Jack's point of view. Have fun! And don't do drugs.**

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Rose slammed the door in my face and left. I looked over to see that the kids had stopped playing and were just staring in my direction. Kim started crying and Marshall asked where mommy was. I gave them their bath and put them to bed.

I wanted to go out looking for Rose, but I couldn't leave the kids alone. She was right, we didn't really know a lot of people in the neighborhood yet to trust to watch our kids. She would probably come home later, just like I did.

I couldn't understand what she was going through with the whole Cal thing, and why she decided to go through it now, but I guess I have to stick with it if it's what she wants. I'm not perfect, and I haven't really been helping, I'll give her that. But she hasn't been helping either. How is stuttering out your feelings you think you have be helping at all? I think she might be sick, and not regular sick either.

Things have changed so much… And yet they haven't. I can still remember staring into Rose's troubled eyes on the Titanic as she almost got away on that life boat; just staring up at me hoping I would make it all better. She loved me so much then, she even risked her own life, twice. 

But did she love me the way she did back then now? She still stares at me with her hopeless eyes, and I try to make it better, but I don't know what to do, and I think she's giving up on me. I'm afraid that she's starting to regret even staying with me. 

Maybe that's where she went. Maybe she went back to Cal. Permanently or not, I don't know, I would just have to wait and find out. 

I had a few drinks before passing out.

**May 24, 1916**

I woke up in the morning and decided to drop the kids off at the daycare center. I talked to them about what had happened, and they apologized for any worries it had caused us. They said that there was someone inside the building still and that the kids were just looking out for their parents. 

I went to work, but I couldn't do anything with the thought of Rose controlling my mind with her crazy ways lately. I was sure that she would be home by the time I got off work. I would just go pick up the kids, and take them home…. And if I didn't want her going off on me, I would have to lie to her…. I hated the thought.

But she seemed so uptight right now. Was it just a woman thing? I called James on my lunch break.

"She's just been so upset lately," I said into the phone. "She's afraid of leaving the kids here alone, and she doesn't want to take them there. She wanted to know if you guys wanted to come here instead."

"I guess, if you want us to," James replied. "We'll do anything to help out. We'll even watch the kids over there if you two need to take a vacation or something. Or do whatever it is that Rose is so concerned and determined about doing."

"Yeah, well, we'll see. She left last night, and wasn't here this morning. So I'm hoping that she'll be back when I get home from work."

"She probably will be." 

"Yeah.. Listen, I have to get back to work, I'll call you later, maybe tomorrow, or tonight if I can, alright?"

"Alright, Jack. Bye."

"Bye."

As I went back into work, Rose was still stuck in my mind. I thought about when I saw her in Philadelphia by the newspaper stand; sticking out her head from the car as it drove away and yelling, _"I love you, Jack Dawson!"_

I got off work at 5:30 P.M.; just in time to pick the kids up from the daycare center. We drove home and arrived around 5:45 P.M. We walked in through the front door and there Rose was, lying on the sofa, reading a book. I decided not to say a word to her, and just made dinner for the kids. As I was setting things up, my stomach churned from the thought that the kids were going to run over to her and by talking to her, she would end up finding out I took them back to the daycare center.

I had them go outside with Samson, who was very old with feeble back legs. Rose still didn't say anything. I couldn't tell what book she was reading, I didn't want to make it look like I was trying to figure out. Ignoring each other was obviously the game we were playing at the moment anyways. She seemed to be winning, I guess stubbornness does have its advantages. 

I could be the better man and take her over a plate of food and be the first to say something. I thought about it before I even made any decisions. Maybe it was best to just leave her alone for now, or maybe leaving her alone to her insane thoughts isn't the best idea..

I let the kids and dog back inside to eat, and walked over to Rose with a plate of food. I sat down next to her and put the plate on the table and told her to eat, that she needs it, because I didn't know what else to say."

"I don't need to eat," she said in a monotone voice still reading.

"Yes, you do," I said to her.

"I already ate."

"You're such a fucking liar," I said snatching the book away from her.

She sighed and closed her eyes, putting her head back and her hands over her face.

"Where did you go," I asked her after a minute.

"Out."

"Okay, Rose, seriously! Are you punishing me or something? I said that once! You know what, just go! Get out of the house, now! And don't come back until whatever this is, is straightened out."

"You said you'd never leave me, who's the fucking liar now?" she said sitting up and glaring at me.

"I'm _not_ leaving you. You're leaving me. Get out. I don't want to see you, or hear from you until this is all over."

And with that I walked away from her, and she didn't even go after me.


	24. Chapter 23

**Jack's point of view**

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**May 25, 1916**

Rose left the other night about an hour after we fought. I put the kids to bed and went to sleep, trying to free my mind of her, so I could sleep for the first time in almost a week. I woke up the next day feeling the same way I did the night before. I got up and walked into the kitchen. Rose was there with the kids and they looked like they were leaving.

"What's going on," I asked her.

"I'm taking the kids to one of my friend's house for the day, I'll be back in a few minutes to talk to you," she said in a hurry.

"Wait, _now_ you have a friend you can trust?"

"Say goodbye to daddy kids!"

After the kids said goodbye, they left and I was just standing there so confused. I took a shower and got ready for work. I didn't know when exactly Rose was going to be back, and to talk about what, but I had to be at work today, because work provided me with money, and money provided me with the power to keep the family under a safe roof.

I left at 9:30 A.M. to get to work. If whatever it was that Rose wanted to talk to me about was so important, she could wait until I got home… Or she might even come up to my work, which is exactly what she did.

"What the hell, Jack!" she said walking up to me.

"Keep your voice down," I said grabbing her arm and taking her outside. 

"I tell you that I'll be back to talk to you, but I go home and you're not even there!"

"I'm working today, you know that!"

"You're work is more important than fixing this?!"

"What the hell would I do if I wasn't working?! You basically said it yourself that I'm useless, I don't know what you want me to do, I don't know what you're problem is, I told you to leave me alone until you started acting like a normal human being!! Oh, don't cry now."

"I want a divorce," she said sobbing. "You can keep the kids, and tell them how horrible I was and still am, and how I left them for something I don't even know whether or not I want."

She ran off into the crowd of walking people before I could say anything or even grab her back. 

So I went back into work, and had Rose stuck in my head all over again. What a month this has been. I wish there was some way I could just swoon Rose back into my arms… I wish I knew exactly what she was thinking, and what she really wanted from me. Maybe I should leave and go home.

I left right then, and told my boss I had a family emergency to attend to. I went home and hoped that Rose was there, probably packing in a dramatic way. I kept telling myself as I was driving home that we were strong enough to get through this and all couples go through something like this, even more than once, and we just have to get through it together. I told myself that I was going to go home and tell Rose that she's not leaving and that I loved her more than she knew and that I was going to fix this, and that I was sorry for not understanding, that I was just a stupid boy, and the only smart decision I ever made in my life was being with her. 

I almost wanted to write it down so I didn't forget it.

I pulled up in the driveway staring at the front door before shutting the car off. I got out and walked in the house. She wasn't in the kitchen or living room, maybe she left already. Even if she did, she said she wanted a divorce, she'd have to come back, wouldn't she? I walked to the bedroom after I thought I heard something.

Rose was still here. Thank God.

She was standing up facing the wall, not doing anything but what sounded like sobbing. I told myself to not overreact over her overreactions. I walked over and stood behind her. I put my hand on her shoulder and she gasped turning around.

"You scared me," she said holding my hand.

"I'm glad you're still here," I said smiling at her.

She gave me a big smile back and said, "Will you do it with me?"

"You want me to go with you to see Cal?"

"Yeah."

"I'll go with you anywhere, you know that. Rose, I'm so sorry about this whole month-"

"No, I'm sorry, this all happened because of me."

"Nothing's perfect."

"Nothing is perfect, except my love for you.. And I want to love you, Jack, and just forget about all of this; I want you to want me, the way I want you."

"I was afraid you were starting to regret staying with me instead of Cal," I said starting to cry.

She put her hand on my cheek and rubbed my face. I held her closer to me.

"I tried to be the best husband for you, and father for the kids; and I know I'm just a stupid guy who doesn't understand anything, but I love you, and I miss you, I miss _you_. I miss that fire we both had together, I miss knowing that even though everything was screwed up, we didn't even care as long as we were together."

"I-," Rose stammered sobbing, "I could _never_ regret staying with you instead of Cal, Jack. Don't ever think that. You are the best- You are the best person I know. And you may just be a stupid boy, but I'm also just a stupid girl. I don't want to leave Jack. I want to be with you forever."

Right then, I kissed her. This seemed like the peek of the whole ordeal going on, and I wanted to end it as soon as possible. If kissing and holding her would help us down the slope safely, then I had no problem making love all afternoon with the only woman that deep down understood me the way I understood her.


	25. Update again

Hey guys, school and work sucks big time, but my spring break is coming up, and I'm not going anywhere, so I'll have a whole week with NO SCHOOL OR WORK. Which means I'll have time to write! So I'll be updating soon, you can be sure of that, unless I have no idea what to write next, but I'm sure that won't be a problem. Take care guys! I love you all.


	26. Chapter 24

It was almost 5 P.M. Rose was sleeping as I laid beside her, watching her, and being so goddamn thankful that everything worked out okay, so far. I wanted to stay there with her, but I had to pick the kids up. Then I remembered that the kids were with someone Rose knew, I hated having to wake her up.

"Rose," I whispered.

"Mmm?" she replied her eyes still closed.

"I need to go pick up the kids."

Rose opened her eyes and stretched and said, "Okay, I'll go with you."

"Are you sure? You look so comfortable."

"You don't know where to go."

"I know, I know," she continued, "I shouldn't have overreacted and sent them to some lady I hardly know."

"Well I'm not worried about it," I said getting dressed.

"Jack," Rose said sitting up, "Can we move back to Santa Monica?"

I looked up at her and said, "Let's go pick up the kids first, and then we'll talk more about what we'll do, okay?"

Rose nodded before getting up to get dressed. 

Rose directed me a few blocks north of town to pick up the kids. She left them with the lady who owned the popular bakery shop. She asked me to wait in the car while she went and got them. I couldn't help but watch Rose suspiciously as she walked up to the door, I don't know why, but I was; and I was happy she wanted to go back to Santa Monica, no matter what had happened. I figured that if Rose wanted to confront Cal, maybe I should try to find and confront my brother, maybe we would find out which insane person decided to leave someone or something's blood around the house, and why. 

I don't think we would be able to live in that same house though. I'm not too sure, but I am sure that James and Lucy will be very happy to know we are returning.

Rose began to make dinner when we got back to the house. After the kids were done eating, they went to play in their room. Rose and I went into our room and sat on our bed across from each other. I looked down as I held her soft hands, our fingers entwined together.

We talked about moving back to Santa Monica, and about finding Cal. I told her about my brother. I told her I was sorry for letting everything get messed up, and that all I ever wanted was for her to be happy, to have what she deserves. I didn't want to see her the way I first saw her, a broken and lost girl, crumbling under the command of someone who gave no freedom whatsoever to her. I didn't want to picture that, I wanted to picture her smiling, her happy face, smiling at me, laughing at me, loving me the way I had always loved her. And I always would love her.

"I'm sorry," I said to her.

"Don't be sorry," she said shaking her head, "You've done more than enough! You saved me, Jack, and I don't think you realize that, if it wasn't for you, I might not be alive right now, and yeah, you're right, I probably wouldn't have..jumped..that night, but something would have happened if you weren't around. I know it would have."

"Well," I said looking up at her, "We'll go back to Santa Monica, and we _will_ straighten everything out, even if it kills me."

"I won't let it kill you."

Rose put her hand on my cheek and kissed the other. I brought her closer to me and we held each other for a few more minutes before deciding to call James and Lucy with our good news.

After talking to James, we laid down in bed with the kids with us. They were excited about going back, but that meant another very long and boring road trip. As they snuggled between us, Rose turned to her side to face me and gave me a huge smile. 

We were the lucky ones. If we were able to survive the disastrous sinking of the Titanic, why wouldn't we be able to survive anything else?

We decided to leave the day after tomorrow; and when we got there, James, Lucy, and Heather were there to greet us. It felt like home. A positive environment was what we were really in need of, and being around our best friends was sure to help give us what we needed, and even more. 

We weren't able to stay in our old house, but it was okay because the house we move to was closer to James and Lucy's house. I was able to get my old job back, and Rose still insisted on finding herself her own job. I told her there was no need to, but she wanted to have something else to do, to help get her mind off of things. We agreed that she wouldn't go looking for any kind of job until after we straighten things out with Cal, and with my brother, and that might take a long time, or it might take a short time. I wasn't so sure at the moment, but I was sure glad to be back in Santa Monica.

As James told me about what had gone on around there while we were gone, I looked over at Lucy and Rose talking away, and Rose turned to me and gave me that big smile I've always loved seeing, and it took me back to when we were on the Titanic again, watching the sunset and talking about someday going to Santa Monica, and leaving the God forsaken lives we were leading at the time. Here we were, we were home; I smiled back at her and she turned away to watch the kids run around in the front yard with their arms stretched out like birds flying away into the sky. They were free; we were free.


	27. Chapter 25

**Haha, hey hey! It's been like five million years, hasn't it? School is out for the summer, no stupid summer classes for me! But I'm working a lot, and my computer is enjoying breaking itself, a lot. But here's a new chapter and whatevs. Sorry it took so long. I kind of just rambled and tried to finish for you guys at the end. Talk to you later.**

**PS why are some of the chapters all underlined? I DON'T KNOW!**

**PPS or pss or whatever the hell - I think the next chapter (if I ever get to it) will go back to rose emo mind, maybe, I don't know. I only found time to finish this chapter while I was in safe mode trying to fix this stupid computer. Viruses=death. **

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**May 29, 1916**

The kids went back to their old preschool the day after we moved back. It was a sunny Monday afternoon as Rose and I took old Samson for a walk.

"You know, Rose," I said as we were walking down our old street, "the police officer I talked to when we got back yesterday said that all that was in our house wasn't mostly someone, or something's, blood. Whoever was in our house used our water too, and that's why it seemed like such a big deal."

"You mean it was just water and a touch of blood," Rose asked, "We didn't even look, well, _I_ didn't even look that very long or hard at the scenes. But I guess that's sort of a relief that the reality of it all isn't so horrifying as it was before."

"I've been searching up information on my brother, Bobby," Jack said after a minute, "I still think he had something to do with it."

"And? Well, what did you find out?"

"I found out that after a few years after I got out of the orphanage, he was admitted to an insane asylum hospital, but he kept finding ways to escape, but they in turn kept finding ways to find him again and again; right now, he's still escaped, he's out there right now, as far as I know. And I don't even know what he looks like now."

"The hospital doesn't have any pictures of him?"

"Not any recent ones, I haven't seen any, because of course, I was just talking to someone on the phone about him, and the hospital is in Wisconsin where we grew up; and I want to go back there and look around, but we've been moving so much, I might need to go alone."

"Jack, I'm _going_ with you."

"Are you sure you just want to up and leave the kids?"

"The sooner we get this over with, the sooner we won't have to leave them anymore. And it's not like we'd be leaving them with total strangers either, James and Lucy, they're like family to us."

"See, I don't know, I mean, I just got my job back and -"

"Well, then we'll just wait until you can get a week or two off in the summer time."

"Then I guess we should get your stuff with Cal out of the way?"

Rose slowed down and I stopped walking.

I turned around to look at her staring at the ground, her fists clenched.

"Rose, you can do this," I said holding my hand out to her.

She looked up at me grabbing my hand and held me close to her as she sobbed and sighed for a few minutes before we returned home.

It was around four in the afternoon. Rose had decided to take a nap, and I went to pick up the kids from preschool. After arriving home, I went into our bedroom and saw Rose still lying on the bed, but I was always able to sense when she was just resting her eyes, and when she wasn't. I walked over and laid down beside her and put my arms around her. She scooted closer to me and rubbed her head against my chest like a cat before lying still again.

I kissed her head and said softly, "So, are you going to call your mom?"

She didn't answer. I thought maybe I was rushing her. I would give her a day or two to think about it, but it had to be done as soon as possible. I believe that this whole Cal situation is the reason Rose is acting so strangely towards things anyways. Ever since we met, there's always been a problem with Cal, always. And now it has to stop for good, for the sake of Rose, mine, and the kids safety.

I kept telling myself to be thankful to have worries about people and things other than myself, like I don't have to worry about where I'm sleeping tonight, and I don't have to worry about whether or not I can find a job and keep it, and whether I would like it or not. I had Rose now, and even though she came with some complications, I loved her more than anything in the world. She's the boost I need to keep moving on, to have a purpose to not give up. I could no longer just quit a job and travel to where ever I wanted. I actually enjoyed having to worry and fix Rose's problems than think about mine. Is that bad? Probably, but it's not at the top of my list right now. I don't even know if it's on my list anymore. All I care about now are the kids and Rose, and Samson of course, even though he's gotten to be very old. All that matters is that we're together, forever.


	28. Chapter 26

**Yes, I know, I'm a loser for not updating in like two months..or more, I don't know how long it's going to take me to write this next chapter… I have reformatted my computer twice and ..yeah……**

**This is going to be the fifth chapter from jack's point of view. Rose has twenty one chapters, and it's only fair that jack gets the same amount…lol…so you can count on my story being at least …..forty four chapters long, because the last two will be from both ..yeah…whatever…**

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**June 9, 1916**

The Friday after the kid's preschool program ended was the day Rose decided to finally call her mom. I asked her if she wanted me to stay home with her, but she told me to go ahead to work.

I went back to my old job and was happy to be there with my old friends. They had all known about what was going on and were very supportive. I told Rose to call me back when she was done talking with her mom and all that. She said she would call her when I left for work which, was around 9:45 in the morning.

I finally got a phone call at 11:15. I walked over to the company's phone and picked it up.

"Hello?" I said into the receiver.

"Hey," I heard Rose's voice say.

"Are you okay?"

"Umm, well, I'm sure I will be."

"You talked to your mom?"

"Yes, I did, but it's complicated. I just called to let you know that I did call her, and everything's okay right now, and I'll talk to you about it when you get home, okay?"

"Okay, that's fine."

"Okay, well I love you and I will see you when you get home."

"Love you, too. Bye, sweetheart."

"Byye."

I left work at 6:35 P.M. to go home. When I got to the house, the kids followed me through the front door. Rose was in the kitchen with a plate of food she made for me for dinner. I sat down at the table and asked her what happened.

"She was pretty angry," Rose started off saying. "She hung up with me after a few minutes and I guess she called Cal because she called me back a half hour later and told me that I needed to go home and get all my belongings out of the house."

"Is she still in Philadelphia?" I asked.

"Yes, they're in the same house; her and Cal. Why, after so many years are they still living together like they're future mother and son-in-law, I have no idea."

I gave Rose a weird look and glanced off into the distance thinking that was pretty messed up.

"But," she continued, "She did say they are both moving soon in different houses and that as soon as possible, I need to get everything out of there or it's getting thrown away. So…. I told her I will go over there Sunday, and I'll probably be there for a week."

"I'm going with you."

"I know, I'm making you go with me."

She smiled at me, "I have a lot of stuff and I'll need a nice manly man to help me."

Rose let out a deep sigh. "We'll leave the kids with James and Lucy."

"Well," I sighed after her, "It'll be fun. I missed them anyways."

"Right," Rose bursted out with laughter.

As I watched her walk away laughing, I smiled as I still considered myself lucky to even be known by that woman. We had met in a time, and at a place, where mixture of race and class wasn't acceptable, but she saw past that, and I always ask myself, "why me?"

We left the following Sunday to Philadelphia, taking a train the whole way. We arrived on Monday night and took a taxi to Rose's mother's house. It wasn't actually a house, and it wasn't exactly a mansion either, but it was pretty nice.

Rose grabbed my hand and started walking towards the front door with me like I was her child. I was hoping that it would just be quiet and quick, and that we wouldn't even say a word to them while we were there. That was going to be a bit tough since we were staying a week.

"You grew up here?" I asked her as we slowly came to a stop.

"Yes," she replied, "It's going to be awfully strange seeing everything again.."

She quickly knocked on the door. After waiting a moment, a man in a white shirt and black pants opened the door and let us in. He walked away leaving us standing there awkwardly, well, me awkwardly. Rose started walking towards the room to the left of us. It was very quiet. I wondered if anyone besides the man who let us in was home. Suddenly, a door creaked open and Rose's mother came walking into the room we were peeking in.

"Oh!" she said surprised as she stopped in her tracks.

"Mrs. Dewitt-Bukater," the man called from another room, "Your daughter has arrived."

"Yes, I see that, Mr. Littleton."

Cal then walked in right after and he and Rose both shared looks like they had seen a ghost. I scooted further towards Rose putting my hand on her back.

"Hi," I said sheepishly to them.

"I don't know how long it's going to take," Rose said to them, "getting everything of mine out of here, but I'm not going to be more than a week like I said on the phone."

Right after Rose said that, I felt a sharp pain on the back of my head and blacked out.


	29. Yay for updates!

Waaaa?????? Where have I been? Oh you know, around and stuff. Work, school, might have swine flu. I do have something. I had part of a chapter written but I can't find my dang usb chip. Oh well, I'll have to start over whenever I can. Maybe thanksgiving break? Hope you guys are all okay!


	30. Chapter 27

**Just so you guys know, I really appreciate all the reviews. I know I'm not the perfect writer at all. And I don't even really care that a lot of it isn't right with the time period; I know that a lot of you (not all of you) are satisfied with the story just being about jack and rose together. I just felt like saying that. This is all for fun, and my own amusement really. But I'm sharing it, because in my eyes, you're all beautiful cupcakes who deserve it. **

**Yes, cupcakes are beautiful. **

**Have a nice and safe New Years! **

* * *

June 10, 1916

I woke up in a warm bed in a room I had never seen before but, Rose was there laying beside me. The back of my head was throbbing with pain. I didn't want to get up, but I had to go to the bathroom; I didn't even know where I was. I tried sitting up to look around. Rose stirred and sat up quickly next to me. She gave me a concerned look and put her hand on the back of my head where the pain was.

"I'm so sorry," she said with tears in her eyes.

"What…what happened?" I asked her.

"The man that let us in slammed a wine bottle against your head; then, I got really upset with him, and tried to hurt him back, but Cal grabbed me and slammed me to the ground. My mother did nothing."

"And now we're in here?"

"I pulled you here and locked us in. It's my old room."

"Ohh.."

"I hate them," she sighed, "I just want to get everything I want and get out of here and fuck them, I'm sick of it."

"Oh Rose, I'm sorry-"

"No, don't be sorry, they're fucking idiots. Apparently I'm not good enough for my family, so I'm done…"

She started crying.

"You're more than good enough for me…." I said slowly.

Rose turned and wrapped her arms around me rubbing the back of my head gently. I tried getting up to help her get her things as fast as possible, but I was too weak and tired at the moment.

"Don't worry," she gasped getting up quickly, "I know exactly what I need to get, and then we can get you out of here, okay?"

"It's getting you out of here that I'm worried about," I whispered.

"What?"

Just then, someone was slamming against the door trying to get in.

"Open this door immediately, Rose," came Cal's angry voice.

Rose looked over at me, and walked over to the door to open it.

"What are you doing?" I barely got out.

She quickly unlocked the door and opened it for him. He fell forward a little, but straightened up and grabbed a hold of Rose as she tried to pull away.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Rose cried at him.

Cal dragged her out of the room. I laid in her bed for ten minutes not being able to move and feeling horrible about what might have been happening to Rose.

I must have fallen asleep. I opened my eyes and the whole room was dark. I didn't think it was too late; I saw a light on in the hallway outside the bedroom. I was still a little weak, but able to get up and walk around. I was so hungry, and had to go to the bathroom so bad. I quietly walked over and slowly turned the door knob. I then peeked my head out and looked to the left and right of the hallway. No one there. I found the bathroom. The house was dead silent. The whole house….was empty. They were gone. Where? Why? _Why?_

I then quickly walked over to the phone and picked it up, hesitating; wondering who to call. The police? Home? It was 4 A.M. I thought about maybe walking over to one of the neighbor's houses and asking them if they knew anything. It was too early… Maybe they'll be back. There's still a lot of valuable belongings in the house.

I went back to Rose's old bedroom. I didn't want to feel like a nosy intruder, but I also didn't want to just sit there until someone came back. I opened a closet door full of old dresses and books. A notebook, a diary? I flipped open to a random page.

_December 31, 1911_

_I don't want to go downstairs. I am so tired of these pointless parties. I am so tired of all the people my family hangs around with. Cal is calling for me to come down. I just want to stay up here… forever. I hate it when he acts all cheerful and loving, like today, even though last night he was a total ass to me. I hate being a woman. I wish I was a man with power and worth, and independence. But sometimes I think it's my fault. I'm the reason Cal become so….stupid. He used to be so loving. He didn't care about money or what everyone thought of him. But I guess then he grew up… Is this what growing up is like? Then I don't want to grow up. I don't want to live. I have no real friends. I have no one. No one except for fucking Cal yelling at me to come out of my room._

After reading that entry, I decided to go back near the beginning.

_August 3, 1907_

_I am going to be going back to school soon; I don't want to. I think it's pointless, like everything else in the world. Life is just so boring and dull these days. If it weren't for Cal, I would kill myself. He's the only person my mother will let me have over. Sometimes she even lets him spend the night, and we stay up talking about everything, and then sleep the next day. My mother doesn't like it when we do that. She doesn't like anything I do. I overheard her talking to one of her friends about how she was afraid I was going to become a crazy person and end up living on the streets, because to her, all I'm full of is silliness. Since Cal is a bit older than I am, she thinks I have a chance at living a good life. I can't even see that far into the future, as thinking that Cal will be the one taking care of me. I think that if I marry Cal, I'm just going to drop my two names and have his one. Rose Hockley sounds a lot better than Rose DeWitt-Bukater-Hockley. And Rose Hockley makes me sound like a normal person, and not some stuck up rich girl. I know I'm rich, I'm thankful. I'm not stuck up, though I act like it sometimes, I guess. Oh well, maybe I'll grow out of it._

So Cal was a decent person back in the day, I thought to myself. I decided to go to the last page.

_February 10, 1912_

_Cal and my mother both agree with each other that I write too much in this journal and that I can't take it with me when we go overseas to Europe. It should be fun, I guess. Even if it is with stupid mother and Cal. It's supposed to be a vacation before the wedding, but…. I don't know. We're supposed to be home in the middle of April. Cal got us all first class tickets to come home on the new ship Titanic. He's extremely excited about it. While I extremely don't care one bit. I've written a lot in this book. Somehow, I feel it may be the last time. If it is, I couldn't help myself, being extremely unhappy with the life I am in. I am thankful for everything I have. I just wish Cal was the old Cal, and would love me for me; and not for my perfect figure. I wish I could get him to remember and understand, but he won't. He's done for. We're done for. The future marriage is a tragedy waiting to happen and there's nothing I can do about it. There's only one thing to do, I wouldn't be leaving anyone or anything worth while left behind. I'm sorry I wasn't a more courageous person. I'm sorry I'm not standing up. I'm letting go, and no one's around to catch me._

Poor girl, I thought. That's so sad. My hands were all dusty from holding it. I put it back and closed the door. I turned around and jumped when I saw Cal sitting on Rose's bed watching me.

"Well," I sighed, "You came in very quietly."

"Yes, it is early in the morning when people are still sleeping, Dawson," he said to me.

I straightened up and asked in a demanding voice, "Where's Rose?"

"She's downstairs."

"Where were you?"

"That's none of your business, now is it?"

"It is! She's my wife!"

All of a sudden I heard Rose crying down the hallway. Her and her mother stood in the door way; Rose's head in her hands.

"Cal will you DO something about this," Ruth yelled. "I need to get some sleep, now you have her, now get her to shut up!" She left Rose sniffling at the door.

"You don't care about her," I yelled at Cal. "So why do you want her?"

"Remember what I told you on the ship? I always win, Jack. One way or another."

I walked over to Rose and grabbed her hands from her face.

"Rose, what do you need from your room?" I asked her. She tried putting her hands back up to her face, but I kept them down.

"Fine," Cal yelled. "Take what you want and leave, and don't ever come back, both of you. We're done with this charade."

"Did you do it," I asked him turning around.

"Do what??"

"Did you break into our house and put blood in our bathroom and kid's bedrooms?"

"Jesus, Dawson, what kind of sick person do you think I am?! You're a whiny little annoying bastard, I'm sure you have other enemies than myself! Now get the hell out of my house!"

Rose walked over to the closet and packed a small bag with a few things, including the diary.

"Oh Cal," she sighed, "I really am sorry it had to be this way, but I really did love you; and I still do."

Cal ignored her and walked out of the room. Rose lowered her head in disappointment before we walked out of the house, thankfully together.

We were both very quiet on the train ride home. "Do you think it's really over," Rose asked me staring out the window. "I hope so," I answered. "But…Cal really seemed like he didn't have a clue about what happened at the house."

"Well, at least that's over with," Rose said after a few minutes. "Thanks for coming with me." She looked up and smiled at me, and then sat on my lap hugging me, falling asleep for the rest of the trip.

Unless Cal had more plans to mess with us, the only problem left to deal with now is my estranged brother. And even though he's blood, I will do anything, and I mean anything, to keep him or anyone else from hurting Rose and our children.


	31. omg an update!

Whooaaaa it's been two years? Where has time gone? I just reread some of these chapters. If any of you want me to continue, I will.

I miss jack and rose. And like totally omg, which of you guys are totally seeing titanic in 3d in april, 100 years since the titanic sinking?

I think only the last half of the movie when the ship is sinking will be good in 3d, and maybe the flying part. My friend joked that rose's boob might pop out at us. Oh leo, you were so young, your eyes are still dreamy.


	32. Another update

UPDATE

So I think I may rewrite this story so it's in these times, because it would be more fun and easy for me. I like to write, but I'm going to school full time and trying to work as much as I can and don't have time to be googling things that aren't job offers and such. I will send a link to the new story once I get the first chapter up!

BTW, it'll probably be the same basically, just a little different….. I don't know, we'll see how it plays out. But thanks for the honest reviews and staying with me!

Love you all, take care! 3


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